Sinking Ships

Chapter Six

I don’t know what to think as I walk down the white hallway with a man at my side. He’s taking me to Kelsey’s room and I’m still unsure if I want to see her not. On one hand, I’d come to accept she’s left me and her son. However on the other, I’m completely happy she’s okay.

But there’s one huge problem that’s now going to face, just like I am. The reality that we both tried to kill ourselves; and failed. Because she’s not eighteen, she’ll have to go through treatment or be sent somewhere to get help.

“This is it,” the man mumbles, stopping outside the hall. “I’ll give you a minute.” He gives me the okay to go in once he leans against the wall, folding his arms across his chest, clearly bored.

With shaky feet, I walk into the room that doesn’t look much different than mine. The room opens up to reveal a machine, hooked up to someone very familiar to me. The sleeping girl on the bed looks nothing like the drug addict, over-done Kelsey I know. Instead, she looks like the innocent girl who I’ve always dreamed of her being.

No makeup covers her face, revealing perfect skin with soft, pink cheeks. Her hair hasn’t been straightened and teased like I’m used to, but instead sits in perfect waves over her shoulders. Instead of the usual, annoying greeting I usually get, there is silence except for her even breathing.

I haven’t seen her sleep since before Tyson was born. It brings back memories that flash before my eyes and as much as I want to reach out and touch her, I’m frozen in place. She looks so peaceful, so guiltless. I’m scared that if I even make the slightest move, I’ll wake her up and we’ll be back to our uncivil ways between father and drug-addict of a mother.

“She’s not going to wake up right now.” I flinch as the man appears at my side, staring at Kelsey. “She’s in an induced coma so her body can heal and won’t wake up until tomorrow.” I nod, not knowing how to respond. “I’ve heard of people being able to sometimes hear what people say to them while they’re asleep.” Then, the man exits to hall again, leaving me alone with Kelsey.

I quietly drag a chair to her bedside, as if I can actually wake her. As I sit down, my head drops into my hands.

“I don’t know what to do anymore,” I sigh, feeling all my frustration meet its building point. “Tyson needs you and if you don’t want to be there for him, I really don’t know what to do.” Of course, as I move my eyes up, peeking through my fingers, Kelsey doesn’t respond. Her dark eyelashes remain closed as she sleeps, motionless in front of me. “I hope you don’t hear me,” I mumble. “Because if you’re still the same ignorant girl when you wake up, you’ll just use my words against me. Especially my next ones.”

I take her limp hand in mine and give it a gentle squeeze. I look at her eyes, even though she can’t see me. For a moment, I bite my lip, wondering if I should say what I’m going to or not. What I said before is very true. In the past, when I’ve told Kelsey very personal things when I’ve broken down in front of her, she’s used them against me. Sure, at the times she was my ex-girlfriend, but that still doesn’t give an excuse to spill my secrets to all her friends right in front of me.

“I don’t know why you purposely tried to kill yourself,” I whisper, embarrassed. “But I guess it’s probably the same reason why I attempted it myself. However,” I bite my tongue, knowing how badly I’d much rather keep the next words to myself. “I’ll always be here for you if you need me. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m still in love with you Kelsey,” I murmur, moving her hair behind her ear.

Suddenly, Kelsey’s finger twitches in my hand. My eyes grow wide as I jump to my feet and jump back, away from the bed. Kelsey’s hand falls out of mine and lies on her stomach, unmoving. I take a deep breath and calm down, just when it happens again; her hand is moving.