Death wishes

Envy

That night, I couldn't sleep. No matter how much I tried to close my eyes, I wasn't tired. Who knew that my darkest dream would be my last. I was now becoming more of a vampire than ever. I was becoming a demon.

...

Before leaving to England so I would come face to face with Carlisle's ex girlfriend, I decided to clean up a bit. Carlisle doesn't sleep either so when the light was shinning through, Carlisle's skin started to sparkle. Like diamonds and crystals was what he was made out of.

As for me, being a vampire was still developing. I looked at my skin that went back to it's mixed color. In relief I would become pale, but also upset I didn't sparkle like Carlisle did.

He must've sensed my envy of his beautiful sparkles because he observed my arm.

"Your skin is back to normal. That's a good sign." Carlisle kissed my ear and whispered in it.

"I do have a thing for mixed girls."

I couldn't help but giggle at Carlisle's words making me feel special. I remembered about last night and rolled Carlisle over showing his back.

"Please don't rape me." He joked and I laughed shaking my head.

I pulled his shirt up observing his clawed skin. The blood dried up and when I questioned him about it, he responded with "it doesn't hurt"

We both lingered out of the bed, both clothes bloody. As well with the bed.

"We can always say that you had a bad period." Carlisle chuckled as his fingers slid down my shirt, ripping the back part.

"You won't need this anymore. "

"Go ahead and take a shower. Clean the blood and I will wash the sheets and your clothes." I offered.

"Are you sure?" Carlisle's cold hands touched my cheek.

"Yes. I will take one after you."

"Or you can take one with me." He winked while his hands fell down to my hips. Carlisle told me he was joking but really, his mind was saying he was being serious.

Carlisle went into the bathroom and stripped his bloody clothes. I went by the bathroom door to pick his clothes up but then I could hear his thoughts again.

"Amber isn't like the others, Carlisle. I'm afraid to lose her. What if the demon in her does destroy her perfect mind. She could die or turn all evil."

Carlisle was thinking in his head. A tear came down my right cheek as I thought about the same thing. What If I die?! My life wasn't important anymore but Carlisle's heart is and I needed to stay alive to keep him happy.

After loading the washer, Carlisle stepped out of the bathroom with new clothes on. A black v-neck t-shirt and grey sweatpants. His blonde hair laid down and combed. His eyes were even more magnificent than before. They were even more gold and youthful.

I looked like a mess with blood stains everywhere but Carlisle didn't seem to care. He held my wrists in his hands and looked into my eyes. His weren't happy anymore but nervous. I couldn't read his mind anymore. My mind reading powers faded too quickly so I had to ask him myself.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"About my ex Belle. She's uhh.. not very pleasant or welcoming."

"Oh... Is she beautiful?" I bit my lip hoping she wouldn't be beautiful.

Carlisle nodded his head and both of our heads looked down. A hint of anger ran through my veins and before I knew it, I was squeezing Carlisle's hands too tight.

"I.. I'm sorry." I ran into the bathroom and stripped from my clothes. The hot water felt nice on me. It brought back the memory of yesterday when I didn't know I was a vampire. This time I could stay in the hot shower forever because I was finally free from Jessica bitching.

I ran the soap up my body cleansing myself. But then I felt a sting on my neck. That was where Carlisle had been sexually frustrated and bit me. I touched the bit mark with the soap again and got frustrated.

"This FUCKING HURTS!!" I threw the soap and decided to shampoo and condition my hair. Being in the shower really got me thinking.

If I was going to make a good impression, I would have to look like a million bucks. And I have the clothes to look like a million bucks.

After drying myself, I searched through my bags for find a perfect outfit. A white tank top along with a purple sweatshirt over it that read 'Kardashian' on the back in glitter.

For bottoms, I wore a white cut off booty shorts. I dyed my hair auburn to match the top and straightened it till it wouldn't get any straighter.

When I exited the bathroom after painful hours, Carlisle gave me a wink.

"You look youthful and I'm trying so hard not to bite. " Carlisle's hands wrapped around my waist."You make it so tempting. It isn't fair."

"Some things you just can't have." I joked and Carlisle licked his lip while moving behind me.

Once out of sight, he put one arm wrapped around me just above my breasts and the other around my hips.

"Oh I will." He whispered in my ear which made me feel all warm and fuzzy. Carlisle licked my neck and gave me hickeys which I enjoyed.

I turned to face Carlisle who gave me a look of what he wanted. We collided heads together and he made his tongue and entrance through my lips touching mine. As much as I wanted to enjoy it, I remembered what we were supposed to do.

"We gotta go now, but I promise we will continue this after." Carlisle chuckled and gave me one last hickey on my neck.

...

The drive was crucial and boring. Every now and again, Carlisle would sparkle from the light which made me want him even more.

Once we reached the house of Belle, I felt a squeeze in my hand. Carlisle was nervous again but I calmed him down by kissing his lips.

"It's to save you." Carlisle managed a smile.

At the door stood a tall woman with blonde hair and gold eyes. Her skin as pale as Carlisle and had a skinny figure. She would be a model. Belle is beautiful. I was envy of her already.