That didn’t seem like I took a break for 12 hours, did it? That’s because I did not. Although I said I’d be sleeping, I got caught up in other affairs and my plan was deterred. To sum it up, it’s 1.08 am and my back hurts from slouching over my laptop, pounding away at the keyboard. Goodnight!
Good afternoon! Yes, I slept for 12 hours – don’t dwell on the past! Moving on, Miss Rivers is quite an active woman. She’s involved in school sports, clubs and activities, has many hobbies and the most challenging of all, thinks about the sports, activities and hobbies she might want to undertake in the future. Don’t look at that last bit like that! Thinking is hard, alright?
Zazzy Rosie just started university. And already is doing all the above mentioned things. Frankly, I think it would bore both you and me to start mentioning every one by name. But as far as clubs go (not night-clubs), one or more of them are bound to have weird initiation rituals. So if you were hoping to hear about one of them, you’re in luck! In one particular club, they made the initiates walk around the school, blindfolded while they held on to a rope and followed the person in front. They made them do this while they whispered into the newbies’ ears. Hm, sounds a little fetish-y to me. Get it? Fishy…fetish-y. I’ll stop.
I know one student doesn’t make a school but they sure are lucky to have someone like Loise Street to take part in these shenanigans just to be part of their club. Kudos to the other girls as well. Superhero fans will probably get the joke behind her friends calling her ‘’Loise Street’’. If you don’t get it, look for the synonym for street. If you still don’t get it, go to nerd near you. They’re very conveniently placed these days. She doesn’t swim for the school but it’s one of her many hobbies at home. That was a clever way to escape the school scene and cross over to her hobbies. Oh, I just ruined it. Never mind.
Aside from swimming, she does Pilates. Colour me impressed on that one. I really wasn’t expecting it. As you might’ve pegged thus far, she isn’t your average 20 year old. She’s really into astronomy and loves recording astronomical events. Not only does she find inspiration in the stars, but she’s also one to look for it on paper; she reads books. For fun. Don’t worry, she’s not a bookworm, even though there’s nothing wrong with that.
Your image of her might’ve been distorted now because of that. Are you picturing a girl who’s always indoors with a book in front of her reading glasses? Well, in case you’ve forgotten, I did mention that she’s a shopaholic. And you might argue that she’s the kind of woman who shops for the wrong clothes. She doesn’t.
Forsaking my earlier bland verdict on her fashion choices, I think she has excellent fashion sense. Imagine a bookworm who dresses like a million dollars. Yeah! Well, not really a million but you get the point; her intellect doesn’t match the way she dresses in the stereotypical sense. The stereotypical sense being: nerds dress from the knockoff-clothes flea market and ‘blondes’ dress to kill (so to speak). The knockoff-clothes flea market actually doesn’t have terrible clothes; they’re just hand-me-downs.
Blondes (using the stereotype) can dress poorly and nerds can dress attractively. Just like Rosie is totally a nerd but still dresses like she has her own expert fashion crew to dress her (Just an observation). It doesn’t take a lot to open our minds to the fact that it can go both ways. Besides, the word ‘nerd’ is abused so much these days. Subtract me from that list of abusive people; I said it like it is!
People expect a nerd to have glasses or dress badly and be a know-it-all. In fact, in a generation where people have become so lazy in terms of knowledge and character, nerds are just people who know more than the people who call them nerds, but because these people don’t like to be called stupid, they put themselves on a pedestal for not being in the “bracket of nerd”. So if I know how many bones make up the human body and you don’t and you’re kind of shallow, you start calling me a nerd. Sad but true. I don’t know how many bones make up the human body, by the way.
At this point I have to look at my guidelines so I remember what I’m supposed to be talking about. Ah, yes, Rosie’s hobbies and such! On the subject of her being a reader who doesn’t just pick up a book for school purposes, she’s even read enough books to have a favourite author and remember the names of the books she’s gleaned! Wow, I’m talking to you like you’re an illiterate fool now, aren’t I? Making the concept of book-reading sound foreign. I apologize for that, it’s not my intention. You picked up this book, or it was shoved in your face and you’re reading it at gunpoint, and you took the time and patience to put up with it thus far. For that, I’m grateful. My personality allows me to be condescending by accident. I really should fix that.
Rosie’s favourite author is Gayle Forman. I love books! But I actually don’t read them much. That’s very weird. What I’m trying to say is…I don’t know who Gayle Forman is. I’m sure someone who’s less oblivious than I am does. I hope.
As I mentioned at the start of this chapter, Loise Street isn’t just concerned about recreational pursuits that take up her time now, she also fancies the ones that may take it up in the near future. She really likes to travel. She’s done it several times before, I’m sure, but she’d like to do it more and on her terms. Her favourite destination spot is, without a doubt, Australia. She doesn’t just want to visit there, I know for a fact that she’d be the happiest woman in the world if she could live there too. She even has an Australian flag in her room to prove her affection. She loves almost everything about the country. I say almost because even though she loves snow, she’d love to live in a country that really doesn’t have any (right?). Hey, beats me!
The UK and The USA are also on her destination list. Basically any place with great tourist attractions, scenery or any country she can skydive in. Skydiving is definitely on her bucket list. I don’t know if it’s on mine. I feel like it’d only get one my bucket list if it was the last thing on my bucket list. Speaking of lethal recreational activities that have the word ‘dive’ in them, she’d like to go scuba diving, too, one day. It seems like she has a death wish, doesn’t it? Maybe she does. But a more accurate thesis would be that she has a thirst for adventure and an appetite for- yeah, forget it. What I’m trying to say is that she’s not boring. Even if you were to sit in a white, windowless room with her, that has no furniture and both of you have had all your memories erased, except the ones responsible for language, there would never be a boring day. Okay, that was creepy. But this deep in the book it’s expected and I know you get what I mean.
She’s also a fan of golf. Picture me with a befuddled look on my face for that one. It’s rather a far-cry from shooting guns, which she also does. I think scuba diving covers the fact that she’d also like to swim in the ocean. I don’t get it - There are sharks in there. Forget the sharks, there’s water in there...everywhere! To top it off, the water is salty! I value the importance of salt and the memories associated with it will forever linger on my taste buds but I hate salt when it is where it doesn’t belong. I have no problem with sea water as long as it’s nowhere near my mouth.
If you backtrack a few sentences you’ll find that I may have implied that I don’t like water. I do. Just not in vast bodies like a dam, river, lake, waterfall, ocean, sea etc...Basically, if you throw a bucket of water at me without warning, I’ll do this thing that sounds like breathing and gasping - like a suffocating seal. I’m sure there’s a word or term for it but I’ll just leave it like that. It sounds fine that way. And by ‘fine’ I mean ‘weird’.
Following the norm of activities that can easily get one killed...or blown up due to being out of the earth’s atmosphere...I imagine if you go into space without a ‘space suit’ you would blow up or something. If you’re future-Loise, there’s always that danger since one of current-Loise’s fancies would be going to the international space station. Or more accurately, just to be in outer space where she can see the stars and float in harmony, devoid of sound. Even though space scares me more than the ocean does, I have to admit that being in that sort of privacy seems lovely. Being able to see the entire earth and even the sun. The best part about looking down on the earth from space is that even if you look hard enough, you won’t be able to see any people. The whole idea sounds splendid; no noise, no undiscernible chatter, no traffic, you have the place to yourself and best of all, no one is going to bump into you. Okay, now I see why she’d like to go up there. The scenery, of course would be breath-taking as well, no pun intended. OK, intended – that one was pretty good!
That does it for the more dangerous part of her planned future; now to the more ‘safer’ stuff. She loves camping. Being out in the woods, with all that nature and miles away from an internet connection. That last bit isn’t very inviting but camping does sound nice. Whether it’s the out-with-a-campfire-roasting-marshmallows type of camping or being in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, I imagine camping with her would be very nice. Actually, no, I should stop imagining that lest my mind runs away with it. There we go.
Although she’s a mean cook, going to cooking class has a certain appeal to her. I wish I could say the same for singing lessons. She’d like to have those because the woman can’t sing. I wouldn’t say her voice sounds terrible when she sings. Actually, when she sings it sounds like the voice I had, 3 seconds after puberty. When she’s talking, it’s heaven but when she’s singing…pitchfork anyone?
She’s quite lively. Given her playful nature, she’s also the kind of woman you could go firefly-catching with, if you’re into that sort of thing. If that’s not on your possible to-do-list then perhaps some fishing by the lakeside. Now it just sounds like I’m giving you people tips on how to get in good with this woman. Show up with a 9 foot fish stuffed with fireflies and an arrow throw its belly and I guarantee you’ll win her heart on the spot! The last on her possible to-do-list is getting a cat. At their home, they already have cats but I doubt she had much to do with that. She’d like to have her own cat in her apartment-days - the days when she’s left home and is pursuing a career, living in a nice apartment somewhere outside the continent. The independent woman’s dream. As you’d deduce, I’m not a big fan of cats so I didn’t do any research into what kind she’d be into. I always just thought there was one type.
Oh, and by the way, if you bought that poppycock about seducing her with a big fish...you can’t be serious. Although it might get you a look of puzzlement from her. That’d be something.
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RomancePARENTAL GUIDANCE IS ADVISED IN CHAPTER ONE. IT'S ALL GOOD AFTER THAT:) I'll cut to the chase. You're about to read a book about a young, eccentric author who decides to write a biography of someone. He doesn't know I'm here, so he's under the impre...
