Calling All David Ryans

Chapter 17

                                                                          XVII

My guidance counselor told me that while I went pain is present, I should remember to smile.  "Smiling," he said, " is a way to trick your mind into happiness.  Try it.  It will get you through high school."  Her tricks never worked on my heart, but they did get me through my high school days.  My smiles fooled others in thinking I was okay.

 I forced myself to smiled.  A stoplight in front of me turned red.  I tapped on the brakes, and Drew's car rolled into a stop.  My nostrils flared as I took a deep breath in.  Pedestrians swarmed the street as a walk sign lit up.  No one acknowledged each other, for the people of Chicago were too engrossed in their own lives.  Buildings loomed above the car.  I shifted in my seat.  No open space could be seen.  Sporadic city life crawled on the sidewalks.  My fingers began to tap the steering wheel.  I needed an open sky where no concrete building stood.  Maybe then, my anxiety would be eased.

I bit my lip.  I hated this part of me.  It was so hard to control.  At the moment, I refused to break down.  The incident from the morning could not happen again.  I had to stop turning to Drew for comfort .  I had to stop relying on him.  My smile remained on my face. 

"How are you feeling?" Drew asked.  Concern glided through his voice.  The light turned green.  With a jolt, the car sputtered forward.

"I'm doing better."  I said trying to even out my breath.  "I am doing much better compared to this morning.  I don't even feel nervous now, like at all.  No nervousness left, nope, nope, nope."

Drew stared at me.  Two seconds passed, and my tongue moved before he could speak.  "I mean, I really am excited to help Dave, and I get to see him again.  That's a good thing, right?  I get to see some old friends that we share.  I am really looking forward to get to know him better and stuff."

An amused look came onto his face as Drew titled his head.  "I would hope that you know him well already."  Behind him, buildings blurred together.  I gulped but maintained my smile.

"Well, uh, you know what I mean."  Nervousness picked at my throat.  "The act of actually knowing someone is so mysterious.  I mean, how well can you actually know someone?  It's just that when you are in love, no matter how well you know the person; you want to know them more.  You want to spend time with them and to look deeper into their soul.  You know what I mean?"

Drew's stare intensified.  He let out a heavy sigh and turned away.  "I know what you mean."

A heavy silence settled as the car came to stop at another red light.  I flicked the left blinker on.  Its clicks emphasized the pause in our conversation. The atmosphere of the car felt strained.  I stared out the window hoping for a escape.  The sidewalk swarmed with free life jutting around.

"I got a kick out of Rob earlier giving his seat to Maggie."  Drew broke the silence.  "It was obvious that he wanted to sit next to Logen."  I glanced up at the rearview mirror to see Christian's car right behind.  I could see him and Maggie laughing in the front seat.  I knew that Logen and Robert sat behind.

"Was it really to sit next to Logen though?" I questioned.  "Perhaps, he just loves the back seat." 

Drew laughed. "No, I am sure.  You should have seen how animated he was while he talked to her.  I have not seen him so interested in a conversation in such a long time!"

My hands tightened around the steering wheel.  Harshness littered my words.  "Well, they better know what they are getting into."

"I wasn't suggesting that anything was budding between them.  I was just observing."  Drew's voice carried a note of ease.