Breaking Point

Chapter Four

"Hey," I said after arriving near his locker. Everyone's attention was on me; some were whispering while others were just glance and rolled their eyes. "I'm sorry about earlier, I didn't mean to make you mad. I was simply trying to conversate," I finished nervously pushing my glasses up the bridge of my nose.

"Look," he says putting his index finger under my chin, as he raises my head causing me to look into his eyes. I've never noticed how blue his eyes were. "Powers, I wasn't mad at you,"

"But Josh—" I started saying but was quickly shut down when he crashed his lips on mine. I quickly jumped out of bed feeling confused, as I run my fingers against my lips. A breath I didn't know I was holding left my lips. I climbed out of bed, with my naturally long blonde highlighted hair floating above my waist. I made my way to the bathroom to start my morning routine.

After I was done I pulled my hair in a tight, yet neat bun. No one other than my family, Nate, and Jackie knows my actual hair length. After I was done with my hair I started making my way to my bedroom.

"I'll have you know putting your hair up all the time is starting to make you look old and uptight," Jackie says as soon as I entered my bedroom causing me to jump out of fear.

"Good morning girl of annoyance," approaching the closed door. My bathroom is in my room like it would be if it was a master bedroom. "You used the window?"

"Always do," she says picking up her backpack and mine. "But I'm in a rush and we need to go," she added handing my backpack over to me.

"I have something to do this morning so don't wait for me before class," I state grabbing my backpack from her. We said goodbye to my parents, who never seem to question where Jackie be coming from and the reasons why she doesn't use the front door like a normal human being. We got to school eleven minutes later, I climbed out of Jackie's car and for the first time in our lives we went our separate ways. She and I have been best friends ever since we first met and we've never left each other's side. We've never kept secrets from each other and I can't believe I'm the one who's starting to.

After I entered the school I made my way down to the basement hoping that there weren't too many athletes there. A handful of athletes walked out of gym speaking to each other barely looking at where their feet are leading them; but nevertheless, I still put my head down to avoid eye contact and facial recognition from my significant peers

"Powers?" I hear a voice say as I stop in my track hoping it's not who I think it is. "it is you," the person added taking my hand and dragging me to the secluded corners. "What are you doing here? Are you trying to get caught?" he asks calmly.

"I wanted to apologize for yesterday," I said as his body language completely stiffens. "I didn't know, and—"

"And if you did would it have stopped you from asking?" he says interrupting me while trying really hard not to lose his cool.

"I," I started as I put my head down and absent mindedly playing with the corner of my sweater.

"Exactly," he says as he started walking away from me.

"Josh," I called out as says "I'll see you later," without another glance my way. Shortly after that he disappeared around the corner leaving me standing alone in secluded hall. I wanted so bad to judge him and call him a jerk but all I kept doing was making up excuses and reasons to why he would act this way. May be his heartbroken? Maybe he was actually in love with his cheerleader girlfriend? Or maybe he is actually hurt after being cheated on by his long-term girlfriend? No matter how many excuses I come up with I still can't understand why somebody would be so heartbroken over someone who isn't family. If one of his family members dies – which I pray doesn't happen – I'd completely understand that, but it's one girl and there's like a million more out there. Why so broken over one?

"You haven't said a word all day? Is everything okay?" Nate asks. We are currently in room G-08; which is the room the debate team meet up at every afternoon. I look at Nate after he asked me that, it seems that he is always around when my mind goes blank throughout my day. I'm not saying I didn't do much today I'm just saying my mind was still rattled as to why someone would be heartbroken over one girl.

"I said words at lunch doing our daily rundown," I stated as he gives me a stern look that screamed tell me what's going on or else. I sigh as I found myself saying "how do you fix a problem you created when apologizing doesn't work?"

"Did you actually say 'I'm sorry for..' or did you try to justify your actions?" he asks as I put my head down. Nate knowns me better than I know myself, he knew how I handle situations and why I do half of the things I do. "If those words never actually left your mouth it's apologizing. To apologize A.P. you have to actually used the words and mean the words. You can't just justify or attempt to understand an issue and think it will be fine. I know you mean well but apologies are supposed to be meaningful and sentimental," he finishes smiling at me.

"To show sympathy I have to have went through something as common as the individual Nate, and I'm not sure this person and I have anything in common, not the situation and not live. We are just way too different," I stated as he gives me a smile that says you will figure it out, you always do. I hug him as the members of the debate team comes rushing through the door. We went straight to the meeting as we all talk about who's done their research for the debate this Saturday. Debating is a lot of work which means you can't rely on the team like you'd do with different teams. Every member has a role to play. We pick three topics and we do research on them and do are best to argue both sides without showing which side you believe to be right or wrong. Over time we get more informed and we get better. We make it our duty to debate every week with facts because we never know what to expect from the judges and the other opponent.

***

It's about four-thirty, the meeting ended at four and I arrived at home thirteen minutes later thanks to traffic. Josh was supposed to be here and he isn't. I really think I might have pushed things a little too far. I decided to lay down while holding a small caramel teddy bear my brother got me when I was nine, before everything changed. This bear is the only consistent object I kept after changing my room.

"Cute teddy bear," I heard as my eyes open widely.

"How long have you been here?" I asks as I sit up, while I place the bear beside me.

"About thirty minutes," he claims taking a seat on the bean bag. "I only saw you cuddling him for thirty minutes don't worry," he says as I throw one of my many pillows at him, which he easily caught with a smile on his face. I smile and soon we fell into silence.

"I've never been in love," I state as I pick up the teddy bear and hold it closer to my chest.

"Power—"

"Don't say anything, please," I said as he quiets down. "I've never been in love. Reasons why I don't understand. I've never even had a boyfriend. So the whole love thing and heartbreak are unknown to me. I've only had once crush; which I no longer have, but my point is I won't understand unless you talk to me about it and not snap at me for stating a statement and asking a questions," I finished.

"Thanks for that but I'm not mad at you," he says with a smile on his face as his teeth shines. "Now can we finish this?" he asked as I nodded. I don't know why but after saying that it felt good. Good to know that him and I are kind of on the same page but again maybe it was just me. But all I knew for sure was how smooth the rest of the afternoon went.