so today i feel so usless i feel like im nothing. i cant even smile right now. ive taken my meds and all i just feel out of place i dont even know why though, my friends and i arnt fighting or anything . i guess its just the feeling of lonliness, beeing surrounded by people yet still feel completely alone. its a down day and jill said there would be days like this i just wast really prepared for it to hit me this hard. i want to talk to someone i just dont want to feel like im just complaining, but oh well i guess ill just be by myself till tomorrow. i have therapy tomorrow im happy to see jill, she is such a loving,nice, and caring person. shes the only true positive thing right now, i got this depressed around this time last year, its kinda like post-marching depression, where i was so needed and wanted in everyday conversation, but now i feel like i could slip out of a meer coversation with someone like there not even talking to me but an outer shell of myself, i guess watching the videos are like a relisation that i burry myself in this sort of shell and try and bring band or marching band up to creep out like a small turtle. so i think that this is enough compaining for one post im off to read the fault in our stars.. i suggest it, its such an amazing book
