The Man Who Dies for Fun

I've Looked Better

Chapter Eighteen: I've Looked Better

    "Ditto. Ditto." The voice calling sounded far away, enough that I didn't stir. Then a slap forced my eyes open. Jamie Geddy leaned over me, mouth moving in a slow fashion. "Ditto, are you awake?"

    "Dude, you have gorgeous eyes," I said. Oh shit my own mouth was dry as a desert. I coughed, turning on my side and noticing I was still on the mother fucking pavement in the dark damp alley. Laughing, my fresh blood made it apparent I hadn't been here for long.

Jamie sighed in relief. "Thank God. Now's not the time to flirt Ditto. You almost died."

"Well, it is in the name." More Hidden were trying to contain the fire, witches flying on brooms and casting rain spells onto the warehouse. I saw Buddy standing by the alley entrance, biting his fingernails. I stuttered as Jamie set my back against the brick wall. "Dies for fun and all that. And can't I admire your glorious blue eyes? So nice."

He blushed, those freckled cheeks getting red. "You were found unconscious in front of a burning building. Care to explain what happened?"

"Well, I was going to talk to you about the evil witch that wants to destroy all life." Jamie handed me a bottle of water, which I accepted and chugged. Near half was gone when I gave it back. "Then I got kidnapped for about thirty minutes, was tortured, killed most of them, and ended up like this." I looked at my friend. "You hear that Buddy?"

"Yes yes, you crazy man." He finally walked up to me. I was glad to see my old friend. "Did you find something important?"

"This was a base. I can explain when I don't look like absolute shit," I said. Ugh, my arm hurt pretty bad. I also noticed my right leg had long bleeding wounds from my knee to my ankle. When did that occur? "Ah! Look at me! Fuck, my clothes budget is getting out of control. All I want is indestructible apparel, is that too much to ask?"

A small witch with a blue cross on her hat came and got down to my level. "Let me look at that leg."

The woman cut off the remaining pant leg, making my heart break. She tapped my flesh with her wooden wand, cleaning it off in a flash. She got close, gently touching my leg with great care. "The blood of a Necromancer. How......volatile. Never got the chance to study the race in school."

"Volatile? More like damn sexy," I laughed. The witch said nothing, and presumed to heal my leg. "Say doc, what was it that did that?"

"Energy magic. A weak hit, from a low angle." A flick of the wrist and gauze materialized. That felt better. She went for my arm. "Now if I may..."

"No that's fine doc. Thank you very much. Really, I can fix this on my own." She argued against it, but I glared her away. Now it was just Jamie, Buddy, and myself. Going through my bag, I didn't even look up. "Come on now. We must get back to your place Jamie. I have business to discuss."

XXXX

Jamie's lived in an apartment like most in Lake City, and like many heroes it had bland furniture and appeal, but had plenty of relics from years of hero work. Papers and jewels and weapons and whatnot. Though Jamie had a much more organized tone with it.

The three of us sat in his parlor, and I stuffed myself with crackers. And cheese.

Honestly, I figured Jamie would break first. He's so predictable. "Are you ready to talk then Ditto?"

"Ugh, I was asked that today." But whatever. Buddy and I went over the story, explaining the present predicament in great detail. Once we finished, Jamie puffed out his cheeks in awe.