What happens on the tour bus. Stays on the tour bus (Ziall, Larry and Lilou)

Fuck Up

Once again I'm sorry it took us so long to update. We have no excuse. We're just bad at keeping on top of things. If we keep getting reads then maybe we will be more inspired to write. We actually have big plans for this story, so be excited, :)

~~~

(Louis's POV)

I decided not to tell Eleanor that Harry fancied me. I knew she'd blow it out of proportion. She was in London now and I didn't want her to think she needed to come back. We had our concert in Seattle tonight. We parked a few hours ago, Liam told us we had freetime before rehearsal which started in an hour. Since dear old Harold had to go all MMA on my face, I didn't get to go explore with Niall and Zayn. Speaking of them, where did they go? They have to be back soon or Liam is gonna flip shit.

(Niall's POV)

I unlocked my phone and realized that Zayn and I needed to haul our asses back and fast but everything just seemed so perfect right now. After Zayn and I left the bus we had decided to just put up our hoods and stay covered so we didn't have to have security with us and we could just enjoy each others company. It was raining out, which I heard was typical for Seattle but we didn't really mind. We spent a lot of time walking around the streets, laughing, telling stories and just enjoying each other's company. However, for the last hour we have just been sitting under a tree at a park, staring at everything, feeling and watching the rain, not communicating with words but just enjoying one another. It's peaceful, Zayns arm is around me and everything seems perfect.

"Zayn, I'm ready to go back, I'm cold and rehearsal is soon." I stated softly, he awkwardly shifted and moved his arm, he took it off my shoulder and put it to his side, I frowned and really hoped he didn't notice.

"Okay, we can wave a taxi. You do realize that Liam is going to speak to us, well mostly to you about what happened between Louis and Harry." Zayn said timidly

"I know, I think I'm ready to go."

Zayn stood up and I followed behind, we walked to the main road hoping to find a taxi. When Zayn finally found one we shuffled in, and I started shivering, I was soaking wet.

"Aw, Ni." Zayn said with a frown pulling me in so his arms were around me and my head was on his chest. I could feel my cheeks heating up into a blush but I hid it.

"Babe, please don't get sick, Liam will kill me" Zayn said, I giggled because he called me babe, I knew it meant nothing to him, but it meant everything to me. I felt like a school girl again.

The taxi finally entered the parking lot with our tour bus, Zayn handed him some money and we got out. I entered the bus first, slowly opening the door, it was really quiet. Liam was sitting on the couch with an upset look.

"Go dry off, get ready and then we will talk." He firmly said.

After Zayn and I did what he asked, we returned to the living room and both sat down on the couch, Liam pulled up a chair in front of us and asked us to be quiet until he was fully done talking.

"After you left, I got Harry off of Louis, and we had a talk. It was about why Hazza was so mad and at first it seemed so simple, but then it proceeded to become much more complex. You see, Louis read Harry's private journal, that had a lot of personal secrets in it. One of those personal secrets was that Harry was gay and that he never had really liked girls. On top of that, well uh we found out he fancies Louis."

My mouth dropped opened and my head started spinning, so now two members of One Direction were definitely gay, Harry and I. We both had major crushes on two other members, Louis and Zayn, but Harry was out while I was closeted. What am I going to do?

(Zayn's POV)

Woah what? Did I just hear Liam right? That can't be true. Harry's loved girls since he could talk. He likes girls... Right? No. He can't be gay. That would ruin everything. I mean, we all live on the same bus! If one of us came out publicly as gay, the fan base would flip shit, and so would management. I turn to look at Niall. His face turned pale. He looked just as shocked as me. We didn't see this coming at all. None of us.

" Are you joking?" I direct towards Liam. He nods. I start to feel angry. I don't know why, I just am. It's not right.

" Harry can't like Louis, it's not right. We're all like brothers it's wrong for one of us to like another." Liam nods again and puts his head in his hands. Niall squirms uncomfortably. I look and him until he meets my eyes and raise my eyebrows at him. He shrugs.

"I uh, I forgot my belt. Be right back. " He immediately stands up and exits the room. Liam looks up and watches him leave. Does Harry's crush really make him that uncomfortable? He seems to be on edge about this whole conversation. I look over at Liam and he shrugs.

"Maybe he just forgot his belt." Liam smiles and I give a faint fake laugh. I push Niall's discomfort to the back of my thoughts, but it's still all Niall, Niall, Niall.

(Niall's POV)

I close the door and as soon as it latches I fall to the ground, bawling. Why am I so stupid?! 'Its wrong for one of us to like another.' I really thought Zayn and I had a chance? How could I be so ridiculous? Zayn isn't even gay! Even if he was, we're part of One Direction. Management wouldn't allow it, and even if they did, someone would find out then everyone would know. It would fuck up everything. I would fuck up everything. That's what I always do. Fuck up.

I can slowly feel my breathing increasing as I cry harder. I can't keep my thoughts straight, they're going absolutely everywhere. Harry's gay. I'm gay. Zayn. Oh god he will hate me if he finds out. Am I a sin because I'm gay? Fuck. Zayn. Zayn. Zayn. Why do I always have to fuck things up? Why is life so damn complicated?

I slowly crawl into the fetal position, I can feel my whole body shaking. This can't be happening now, I hate having panic attacks at the worst times. I told them I would just be gone for a minute, just needed to grab my belt. Shit. I need to just distract myself, the less I think about the things that are stressing me out the less I will freak out.

"Niall, hurry up and chose a belt! We have to leave damn it." I hear Liam yell, he seems so angry and knowing its because of me just makes me start to panic more.

My vision starts to blur even with the tears I can tell that it's blurry and I suddenly realize that I've been hyperventilating and I feel very light headed.

"Zayn!" I yell in a needy, desperate, upset tone because I'm going to faint if someone doesn't come help me and he's the only one that can make me feel better, even if he's a reason I feel like shit. I can hear whispers between the boys. Louis is saying that he will come get me and then we can go to rehearsal but Liam is insisting Zayn come so that we can leave sooner. I decided to block out their voices and just concentrate on my breathing. Come on Niall just breath, in and out, in and out.

The door opened slowly, I have no energy to look up, to take in who it is. Im a crying mess on the floor. The last thing that I remember is that whoever was in my room layed down next to me, I'm assuming so they could be on my level to speak to me, possibly cuddle me. Before I could register anything else, I passed out.