Finding Love

Chapter 18

"Fall is required for one to rise,

Time is required to know virtue from vice."

Re-reading those lines for the millionth time in the past few years, a soft, involuntary sigh escaped past his lips. Eyes shut, he tried to breathe. To relieve the force that was pent up within him. Time was beginning to take a toll on his vulnerable mind, overpowering his helpless soul, and all he could do, was to remain calm. He had, time and again, been aggressive, especially around Noorie. Sure, Ammi had preached about being expressive, and he had always lived by that maxim. But these, sudden unexpected bouts of irritation were not emotionally influenced or induced ones. He was pretty sure, he'd have to look up his age-old psychology books to have a better idea of it all. Or, he could just approach Kabir, and talk to him. The latter felt like a better decision. Less effort, work done.

Content with his decision, he began to walk towards Kabir's room, mentally framing out how he would put forth this worry of his. And just as preoccupied as he was, it went unobserved to him, that he had actually walked into Kabir's room, swinging the door shut, behind him. Neither did he notice, that Kabir was staring at him, questioning his absurdity, and judging him hard, in that moment.

"Yes, brother dearest! What bring you into my room, this, haven of peace and bliss?" Kabir's sarcastic question brought Saif out of his daze, suddenly, and very harshly, making him look up, meeting those deep set blue eyes, which seemed to reflect annoyance and irritation. And just as suddenly, Saif was not sure why he had moonwalked himself into this situation. He didn't think he could actually have a conversation with Kabir Abdullah.

And just as he was thinking to drop the idea of talking to Kabir, another set of familiar words echoed through his mind. 'Everyone has their own demons to face, wars to wage, and victories to embrace.'

'Ma was right.' And in a jiffy, he realised, that this was the only option that was viable at the moment. Closing his eyes for a brief moment, Saif breathed in deep, trying to calm his frenzied nerves, which were racing into overdrive. Looking back up, he met those same icy blue orbs, which now seemed more like worried and confused, than annoyed or irritated. He kept staring at Kabir, trying to muster the courage to talk. It was long since they had had a decent man to man talk. He wasn't even sure if this was right. He just wanted some form of release. And he could think of nothing better than sitting across Beerah and talking his heart out to him. It would seem a very silly, menial thing for any onlooker: a confused man, approaching another, who was cold hearted, with his emotions and worries. But then again, that's just what people would see. The mere surface, of a vast ocean, of unfathomable depths, filled with unimaginable things. Those, which one never would have thought even existed, in the being. Judging was easy. Mocking, even more. But understanding, was something which hardly anyone could do. Not many knew, that a mere word, was all that was needed, to make a heart open. And people were comfortable, since time immemorial, with just judging each other. Nobody wanted to take the pains of trying to understand others. And Saif was sure, he could expect more than just judgement, mockery and indifference from Kabir. He knew, that there was something between them, that was still left. He wanted to strengthen that fragment of trust and love that remained between the two.

And as he stood there, rooted, a myriad of emotions storming through his soul, his gaze was transfixed on Kabir, who got off the high-stool, sauntering towards his brother, gaze filled with a sudden unrecognisable emotion, as his brows knitted together. As always, Kabir's stance was unreadable. And just like that, the howling wind threw open the palatial windows of Kabir's room, a strong gust of chilly air blowing in, biting at Saif's skin, and tugging at the loose ends of his heart. And just as peculiar as everything was, in two sudden huge strides, Saif found himself in Kabir's warm embrace, as he held on tightly to his brother, unable to react to the moment.