When October Goes

Prologue

I couldn't believe that my son was turning eighteen today.  It felt like only yesterday I had given birth, and yet, it was an entire lifetime ago.  Richard had grown into a wonderful young man, but I couldn't take all of the credit.  It's true what they say: it takes a village to raise a child.  I had an army to help me and was thankful for the support.

At first, it was hard for me to admit that I needed the help.  My mother raised me to be strong and independent, but I knew nothing about babies, let alone a male one.  Mom knew babies, so that part was covered.  It was the boy part where we were having issues.  Luke and Dad knew older boys, so I turned to Lane.  She was raising two at once!  Not only was she my best friend, but now, she was my official baby boy guru.  She was a veritable fountain of information; she was a better reference than any baby book I had ever read.  She taught me early on to put a washcloth over the boy parts to protect from surprise urine geysers.  I thought she was kidding until it happened.

Once Richard got older, he started showing an interest in sports.  He certainly didn't get that from me, but I knew Logan, his father, was more athletically inclined.  He wasn't there to help in that department, and that was by my choice, not his.  Luke did what he could, but he was mostly good for baseball, basketball, and running.  None of these seemed to hold Richard's interest.  Dad even tried a couple of others: soccer and football, but the only sport that held his attention was tennis.  Grandma was thrilled.  Both, she and Grandpa, had enjoyed tennis. 

After doing some research, Dad set up some private lessons with one of the pros at the club.  He paid for our memberships, and I was in disbelief that I was now a full-fledged member of the club.  I felt as if I were betraying my mom and my upbringing, but I reminded myself that it was for Richard's sake.  The pro told us he was a natural and encouraged us to continue his pursuit.  Before I knew it, Dad and I were traveling with him to tennis tournaments across the country.

"He's pretty damn good, kiddo," Dad said to me.  "He's nationally ranked for juniors.  That's a really big deal in the tennis world."

I'd never been interested in playing sports, let alone learning about them.  After a couple of months, I was a regular at his matches, chatting with other parents, and using the proper tennis vernacular.  Some of it I picked up from other parents, but I had to do a lot of research just to understand the game.  It was an interesting, new challenge for me.  Soon, I had a firm grasp on the game.  You still couldn't get me to swing a racquet, but that's mostly due to my poor hand-eye coordination.

I was glad that Mom, Luke, and Dad finally buried the hatchet.  It took Luke some getting used to, but he did it for Richard's sake.  I wanted the family to be able to function as a whole.  Dad's longtime girlfriend, Lana, did a lot to help smooth things over.  She was a wonderful lady who made Dad happy.  At first, there was a lot of yelling and screaming.  I expected that, but I set the only ground rule as no physical violence.  Dad and Luke had it out a couple times before, and we didn't need that to add any fuel to this fire.  Dad admitted he still loved Mom, but he wasn't in love with her anymore.  There would always be loving feelings between them because of the bond they shared.  Surprisingly, Lana was ok with this.  She understood since she was a psychiatrist.  I think she had done a lot to help Dad understand this about himself.

Luke, on the other hand, still had a lot of pent-up anger regarding Mom and Dad.  Once he said his piece, he sighed and Lana stepped in to help him.  While he had every right to be mad at Dad for not being there, it wasn't his battle to fight.  He had to learn to be comfortable with the decisions Mom made, and not hold the grudge against Dad.  Also, he admitted he was jealous that they shared something that he'd never share with Mom: a child.  He'd never realized this before and had been harboring it for many years.  He needed to make peace with this as well because a 'fresh kid' just wasn't in the cards for them.  He didn't like the surrogacy option (which I'm not sure he fully understood), nor did he want to have that anymore.  He said maybe when they were younger, but it just didn't happen.  Besides, he thought it would be weird to have a kid younger than his grandchild, Richard.  At this point, everyone came together and had a good chuckle about that kind of situation.  It gave some comic relief to the very tense situation.

As Richard grew, I tried to regain some sense of normalcy in my life.  At first, I tried to date, but being a single mom tended to scare any potential mates off.  Now, I knew how Mom felt all of those years.  She focused most of her attention on me, so I did the same and turned my attention to Richard.  I made sure he went to good schools and always had whatever he needed.  I specifically left Logan out of our lives and my family did the same.  I had finally lived up to my nickname from Chilton: Mary.