My Journey

Getting Love

So I have a "C" in my English class. Well that is a great way to start the school year! I really have to step up my game. I have been having this stretching routine where I would stretch for 2 months every morning and night. I was going to tell my parents to put me in a gymnastics team to be flexible and successful. The thing is, I want to be flexible because I want to make my grandma proud. I always think of me being a disappointment to my grandma because I guess I feel jealous towards my cousins when they are around. I don't feel the love I need from my grandma even though she shows me so, so, so, so, so much love towards me. 

Talking about love, I don't think I feel the same way I do towards Josh because he is not cute I see him now as annoying and unattractive. I have been thinking for the past 2 months about how I "fall in love" with every boy that comes in my way. Now that I don't like Josh, I kind of, sort of, started to like this other boy who is in the same English class as me. His name is Aaron Anderson. He is cute, smart, good looking, friendly, funny, and positive. I hope one day he would see me more than just the girl who is shy and is in his English class. I wonder if a boy would ever pay attention to me, or fall in love with me. I always feel left out, like if nobody wants to be near me. I always feel sad and when I'm not it is because I am not thinking about it. I think I like Aaron more than I do for Josh.

It was weird, but I was searching up when my half birthday is and it is February 5. I think that it is really cool to know when your half birthday is. 

I had dream about me caring about my nephew. It is very weird because it is relatable to the book that we are reading in my English class. There was a part in my dream where I was being shot by a needle on my hand. I started crying. I woke up and it was like if everything happened in real life. Tears were running down my cheeks and there was nothing to do to make the pain go away. 

There is this kid whose name is Andrew and he is from Ecuador, which is pretty cool. I have noticed that Lenny and Aaron are maybe fighting for Amanda, but I can say that I am better than her. 

My brothers birthday is in four days. He is turning 14 years old. I sometimes wish that I had a sister to go to school with, have a better relationship with, and someone to talk to when I really need to.