survivors ↠ e.d.

NINETEEN

I slowly open my tired eyes and I look at the fireflies stuck in the jar.

There's already one dying.

It lays on its back, legs dangling on its side, too weak to shine.

I prop myself on my elbows and look at Ethan who's sleeping behind me.

He looks so peaceful.

I turn around to face him and I burry my face in his hoodie, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him closer to me.

He grunts as I do so, so I loosen my grip a little.

I rest my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat.

Steady.

Alive.

A tear threaten to fall down, but I wipe it away before it could drop. I'm done crying. I'm going to spend all my time with him and focus on being happy.

I hear tree branches crackle so I quickly sit up and look behind me.

It's Grayson.

He walks silently towards me and raises his brows to ask if he can come.

I weakly nod and give him a little space to sit.

He sits down and lays his massive hand on my thigh.

I gulp as I look at it.

"Are you doing alright?" he whispers as he looks into my eyes.

He was tired. I think he didn't sleep all night.

After the emotional event from two days ago, neither of us had a full night of sleep.

We both have bags under our eyes and we are weak as fuck.

I simply nod. I didn't want to tell him the truth. He probably already knows that I'm not doing okay at all. I feel like curling up in a ball and cry for days.

I think that's how he feels too.

He's going to loose his brother after all...

We both turn back to Ethan, who's still sleeping.

That lazy motherfucker... How is he able to sleep?

Grayson chuckle as a loud snore escapes his brother's mouth. I can't help but smile.

I feel Grayson's grip tightening on my thigh and I look back at him. He's tearing up.

He's not smiling anymore.

He's crying.

I pull his arm and I bring him closer to me. I hug him tight as he sobs on my shoulder. I run my fingers through his hair and stroke his back.

"Grayson, it's okay. Everything will turn out okay..." I whisper to calm him down.

"When he'll be gone-"

"Grayson don't think about it..."

"B-but when he'll be gone, nothing is going to be okay Nessa..." he bawls.

He fists my shirt and sobs harder.

He's going to wake Ethan up.

"Grayson, come with me..." I back away from our embrace and make him stand up.

He stands and picks me up in his arms.

It's not because I was able to walk once that I can do it everyday...

We walk not too far away from Ethan's sleeping spot and Grayson lands me on my feet.

I lean against a big tree and I stare deeply in his eyes.