Remember The Forgettable

Realization

Jin laid in his bed as he stared up at the ceiling. The day had just come to a close and everyone was trying to get some rest before another busy day. Everyone was asleep, everyone except Jin of course. His eyes narrowed at the ceiling as he sank into his deep thoughts. They were at a fan signing that day. Jungkook was messing around with Jimin and Namjoon and YoonGi played it cool, J-Hope and V, of course, cracked nonsensical jokes, Jin...of course sat quietly eating snacks. Usually, he would join in the childish fun, but his mind was focused on the letter in front of him. The writer was praising BTS, claiming that...they saved her life and inspired her, but one thing was stuck in his head. As she named out the members and how they inspired her...his name came up at the end...and the words following it made him deflate.

"J-Hope taught me that being silly and weird is alright because as long as your being yourself you don't have to be afraid.

Jin, however, kinda taught me to have confidence but I really don't recollect a time where he struck any thought in my head or even caught my attention, but he is sure pretty!"

Jin blinked as he read over the message over and over again. No, it wasn't cruel or anything to even be upset about...but it made him think. It was long ago that he realized that he wasn't exactly popular. Ever since the beginning when Big Hit made him act refined and quiet...He knew that he was technically asked to step aside and let the others take his limelight. But these recent years he was finally himself. Childish, outspoken, caring, silly, hot headed....but it was too late.  He was already seen as a mother...a princess...something to be looked at, something to care for the others and tossed aside as they amaze the fans. 

The thought didn't bother him in the beginning...to be seen as a mother. However as the years go by...he realized that if he wasn't acting like a mother, if he wasn't with namjoon or bickering with jungkook....then he wouldn't be acknowledged at all. His singing is usually forgotten...overshadowed either by jimin's part or by namjoon, J-hope, and YoonGi.

His brows furrowed as he thought harder about his situation, he was living in a shadow. A large shadow with six heads...and he can't get out. 

Now Jin laid alone in his room. Those thoughts burying him.  "My thoughts will clear by the morning" he whispered to himself as he closed his eyes and drifted to sleep.

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Morning finally came and the boys were already hustling out of bed. Jin however...was still asleep, head buried in his pillows. "Hyung! Make us breakfast please!?" Jungkook shouted as he hit jin with a pillow. "Wake up already geez!" he shouted as he ran to the bathroom to get ready. Jin groaned as he lifted his heavy head from the bed. "Aish...I didn't mean to" he muttered with a yawn as he dragged himself out of bed. YoonGi sat in the kitchen sipping black coffee, already dressed and ready to go. YoonGi looked up at his still bedridden Hyung and cocked a brow. "Aren't you usually the first one ready?' he asked as he tilted his head. jin rubbed his eyes and simply waved his hand dismissively. 'Oh hush...I'm trying to make breakfast"

however, as he whisked the eggs...he found himself thinking about the mother issue. Did his banmates see him this way? As a mother...a useful tool...maybe not even equal?He looked down at what he was doing and slowly set the bowl down. Namjoon headed into the kitchen  to fetch himself some coffee. "hyung what's wrong? why'd you stop?' he asked as he set down his mug. Jin stared a moment before snapping out of it. "oh! sorry I'm sleepy!" he said with a laugh as he continued to cook.

Why did he feel so upset just then? Jin shook his head of these thoughts. He was being rediculous. His mother would be ashamed if she knew he was having such petty thoughts. Soon Jin smiled and went back to cooking. When he cooked, he felt like he was actually good at something. It was his way to shine, to wow people....or at least the six noisy men that lived with him.

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It was a rough day at practice, Jin had forgotten more steps than usual and even tried on his own two feet.  At first no one minded it too much as hoeseok went over the steps slowly with Jin. He couldn't help but feel a tinge of embarrassment and guilt. He didn't mean to hold the others back. "Jin! Oh my god!" Jimin exclaimed feeling frustrated as Jin once again dozed off in his thoughts. He jumped at the sudden shout but quickly apologized. "I'm sorry guys, I keep getting distracted" Taehyung wanted to stick up for Jin but he really just wanted this session to be over. "Why can't Jin just practice that part in the back as we move on?"

Jin was relocated in the back corner as he revived the steps. He had to shuffled his feet, then pause, jump and then land into a sliding motion. He was fucked.

When he finally made it back to the group he was once again placed in the back corner. This was his designated spot. The back. Never in the front always in the back. He frowned as he finally kept up with the other members in their routine for "FIRE". 

The only thing on fire was jins confidence, slowly burning up and turning to dust. Again.