The Hunger Games: The Untold Story of Peeta Mellark PART ONE

chapter six

Peeta Mellark PART ONE continued...

Suddenly I feel like there are a million eyes on me, burning a hole right through my flesh. I see the horrified expression on Attalla’s face, we’d been friends since we were kids. I don’t look her directly in the eye in fear that this will set off the tears i'm desperatly trying to hold back. I try my hardest to remain calm but I can’t hide the terror in my heart as well as Katniss can. The crowd begins to split creating a path for me to walk to the stage. I feel like I’m in a dream, nothing seems real. My whole body is numb. It’s almost as if I’m watching another stocky,  medium sized boy with blond hair and blue eyes plow through swarms of people toward the stage, while i'm in a distant, safer place. I don’t know how I got my legs to move but before I know it I’m walking onto the stage.

My eyes meet Strucla’s and for a split second I have a twinge of hope that he’ll volunteer for me as Katniss did for her sister. But the thought exits my mind as quickly as it enters. I know he won’t. He loves me, but sometimes sibling devotion can only go so far. And even if he did have the courage to volunteer, I wouldn’t want him too. I’d feel tremendous guilt. I don’t know what would be worse; to actually be in the games or, to have to watch one of my loved ones in the games.

I look over in disbelief at Katniss. Katniss Everdeen. This is worse than having to watch her on a screen because now I’ll not only be helpless to save her but the one trying to kill her. It’s almost comical what rotten luck I have. Almost. Those intense grey eyes pierce my heart and turn me to stone. Another thought hits me; maybe this is my chance to finally be with Katniss, even if just for a little while. But what if it were to come down to the two of us? I shake the thought from my head. It won’t. I’ll be long gone before it comes down to the final two.  But I think I’ll have to try anyways. To win. For my father, Barley, Strucla, my friends, even my mother.

But would it be worth it in the end? To kill a bunch of innocent people just to end up like Haymitch Abernathy? This is all too much for me. I look down at my hands and realize that they’re shaking uncontrollably. Then I remember that all of Panem is watching me right now. Great. There goes my chance for any sponsors. I try my hardest to quickly compose myself.

I attempt to just concentrate on the mayors reciting of the Treaty of Treason. Once he finishes he motions for Katniss and me to shake hands, our eyes meet for a brief second. She seemes perturbed, as if the thought of seeing me has genuinely disturbed her. Maybe she does remember me after all? But what does it matter. In a few weeks we’ll be forced to fight each other to the death, and Katniss Everdeen is a hunter. She won’t falter for a second before killing me. I can’t blame her can I? It’s not like I’m anything more to her than the baker’s son who she’s maybe seen once or twice around school or in town.

Her hand is warm in mine. Strong and tough from hunting and single handedly keeping her family alive. This is the hand of a fighter. I wish I could hold it in mine forever. I squeeze it tightly in attempt to comfort her and to let her know that I’m on her side, that everything will be okay. She looks confused. We turn to face the crowd, the anthem of Panem plays.

My head is swarming with questions whose answers are locked away somewhere deep in the burrows of my brain. Should I just forget about all my feelings for Katniss? Should I protect her? Should I try to win the games? Is it even worth it? Then my mind goes to my father and Barley. Strucla and my mother. Jackson and Atalla who have been my best friends since I could walk. They must all be so devastated. It must be hard to lose a son, a brother, a friend this way. I wonder if my mother will react the same way she did when she lost Rye. Maybe she’ll go crazy. I begin to feel sick; everything’s just a huge blur for here on out.  

End of Part One.