All for her

chapter 4

Groaning I try to turn my body but I can't. I open my eyes slowly adjusting to the sunlight I looked at the twins last night events still fresh in my mind,i need to get out of here. I get up from the bed they turn but don't open their eyes. Wow talk about sleeping deep. I put on my clothes went outside stop a  taxi went straight home. My head hurts I drank like a fish last night; now am paying for it. The taxi dropped me home .I knocked on the door. Luisa opens it she looks at me with disgust in her eyes .I know,i know I stink of booze and sex am tired ,can't make it up the stairs .I lie down on the couch in the living room .she sits besides me patting my head I don't stop her I feel calm around her but I don't want to feel this way I like the way I live my live.
                 I remember when my aunt died everyone cried I was little then but old enough to know what going on around me I don't cry I simply told everyone it was her time to die with no emotion on my face or in my voice.  Everyone was shocked how can a little child say something so cruel. You are not normal my grandma say I know am not her favorite grand child but I don't let their words bother me. I don't see life the way they do I don't have time for others I prefer to be by my self.

When I woke up it was already noon. God I stink I need a long shower  i went to  my room ,took of my clothes went to bathroom took a shower went down to the living room I put on the TV .

Luisa: will you eat ,I made apple pie heard it it's your favorite.

Aliyah :yes i will.  yes I know I can't fight it anymore this feeling but I will not let it get any higher than this we will be nothing more than house mates who talk to each other.

Luisa: she said yes I can't believe it for the first time. Okay this is a step forward for me like I said before i want this woman to be mine.

We went to the kitchen sat down started eating it tastes good actually. After eating she asked if we could watch a movie together .sure why not .we sat on the same couch the movie was a funny one she laughed. Through out the whole movie I was looking at her taking in every detail. What's happening to me. Then I kissed her out of the blue .she does not push me away instead she kissed me back. Immediately I stop it am sorry Luisa i don't no what came over. Don't be she says I wanted this from the very first day I saw you and I know you want this too .stop right there am not interested in you. Yes you are,you are more than in interested in me the way you avoid me,try to push me away this is not about you been cold and heartless you avoid me because you feeling something for me. No, nope  am going to  denial this there no way in hell I'll admit to this. Am not you are crazy you can keep imagining things in your head that kiss just now was because am horny and you were there so it happened. I ran up stairs straight to my room.

Why, just why did I agree to let her stay here now she's going to disturb my perfect life. I  had no idea that love can be so difficult. I have never fell in love before so I should not know a thing about it right but I do and I know am falling for her but am choosing to ignore it;can I really. If the look on her face is what I think it is .
She never going to leave me alone. Am just going to pretend that all this didn't happen.