Cant Always Make Reality Exceed Non-reality

"Getting ahead of the Game"

Yeah sorry...😬😬😬ANOTHER WARNING: SEXUAL HARASSMENT IN CAMILAS POV.⚠️‼️‼️

Laurens Pov
When I left Camila's hotel room I couldn't help but notice her eyes looked so tired. And she looks so...lonely? Like she didn't want me to leave but she wasn't gonna make me stay. I almost asked her about it but I guess it's better this way. If she's going to have a solo career then we need to start acting like it, cause obviously this is what she wants. If she wanted to stay with us she would've, she would've told me not to go, she would've shook her head no when we asked her if this is what she wanted.
I got to Mani and Dinahs room and walked right in, they were probably out getting food right now. I set down Manis bags, which by the way felt like a ton of bricks, that girl has too many shoes.
I would go to me and Ally's room but I was so tired, I just lay down on Dinahs bed and close my eyes. Not that she would mind, I mean my feet are clean, and I can take a polly beat down if she does get mad.
      Today has been probably the most emotionally damaging day I've had since my grandma died. I guess it kindof is like someone dying? I feel like it is, I feel like im dying.
   Camila. My camz. Betrayed me, us, our harmonizers.
      And she seems sad about it, which I don't understand but I hate to see her cry. I really can't take it. This is too much, too much just changed in such a short amount of time.
      I end up falling asleep and I wake up to Dinah shaking my shoulders,"Laur. Come on Laur, you gotta wake up, it's one o'clock," she says softly.

    "One o'clock? In the morning?" I ask, my voice raspier than usual since I just woke up.
   "Yeah, you ended up falling asleep here. I just got home from going with mani to get a midnight lunch," she yanks the blanket off of me and sits on the bed," and I'm bout to pass out so yous gots to go" she says.
     I get up and put my shoes on," alrighty, well I guess I'll go then. I just wanted to talk to you guys about Camila, I really think we should try to—" i get interrupted by a snore and I look over to see Dinah tucked into bed and mouth open wide. What a princess.
    " okay then," I murmur to myself. I really wanted to talk to them about how we're going to act around Camila. But I guess we'll figure that out as we go along.
    I get to me and Allys room and see that she's already asleep. I take off my shoes and change into a long grey t shirt and underwear to sleep in. I lay in my bed and try to go to sleep.
    Now it's 2 o'clock  in the morning and I can't fall asleep. I can't close my eyes and not see her. I wish I had my best friend back, I wish she hadn't done this. I wish a lot of things.
    Since I can't fall asleep I open my phone and tap on the Tumblr app, my favorite. It's where I can like and repost things without management controlling me. It's where my true fans know to look for the real me.
    When I log on I see waakeme-up had reposted a rather depressing post.

   Camila? What 'wrong things' could she possibly be talking about? Right now it seems like she's attracting all the 'right things', for her at least. A solo career. Something all of us wanted in the beginning, something all of us still want-later on down the line I mean. It's something all of us sacrificed for each other, and apparently we aren't worth sacrificing for in Camilas mind. Camilas messed up mind.
    I repost and liked a couple of things, some of which were body pictures of beautiful humans. I just find the body so pure and... just naked. Even female bodies, I mean, I'm not bi or anything...but I appreciate the art of the female anatomy. The curves, the smoothness, the....just I guess you could say attraction, is inspiring.
    Attraction? Is it weird to be attracted to the female body? Girls go through this all the time, I mean collage is like a huge lesbian festival. This doesn't mean anything Lauren.
I looked at the time and saw a big 3:00am staring at me in the face, I knew I had to get up in like 3 hours so I put my phone down and closed my eyes. And after what felt like a lifetime, I fell asleep.