The Raven & The Spider (CURRENTLY UNDERGOING HEAVY EDITING)

Chapter 35 - Alone

(A/N) Oh my gosh guys! Now we've gotten to 2,000 reads! Thank you all so much for all the reads, votes, and comments! You have no idea how happy this makes me and how encouraged I feel when I see that people enjoy my writing! Thank you all so much!
     - Kylie <3
(June 7th, 2017)

Your POV (Second Person):

After answering all of Ciel's questions, he had walked you back to your room where Mey-Rin ran you a bath in the washroom down the hall.

You stepped into the room and looked around. It was a lot different compared to any other washroom you'd been in. It was somewhat similar to Ms. Rebecca's but much more elaborate. In the center of the room was a porcelain, roll top slipper bathtub with silver lion's claw feet. Next to that was a small wooden table where different soaps, oils, and lotions were placed. To the leftmost wall was a small fireplace that stood next to a big window, curtained with Turkish-blue draperies. On the rightmost wall was a porcelain sink to match the bath, with a small silver framed mirror above it. Sitting beside that of course was a toilet and chain-pull cistern while a circular cheval mirror stood a few feet away. Next to the door was a big wooden shelf that was filled with fluffy, cornflower-blue towel and washcloths.

You stepped in and closed the door as Mey-Rin turned off the hot water once the bath was full. She offered to help you undress, and though you assumed that was how the wealthy folk did things, you weren't too anxious to let a stranger see your unclothed body, so you politely declined. Mey-Rin placed one of the fluffy towels next to the lion's claw tub along with a soft white robe for you to wear when walking back to your room. She informed you that a new change of clothes would be sitting on your bed. She then pointed to a round wall clock sitting above the door and told you dinner would be at six.

You thanked Mey-Rin as she closed the door behind her and began to undress. You realized you were still wearing that olive frock with the brass buttons from the day before. It was the dress you'd been wearing when you went out to buy that newspaper and seen Ciel-Smile and Sebastian-Black again. It was also the dress you were wearing when Ms. Rebecca was killed...

You threw the old dress to the side and lowered yourself into the warm soapy water. You immediately felt your muscles relax from the warmth as the scent of lavender from the oils Mey-Rin had put in the bath hit your nostrils. You stared up at the stenciled ceiling and begun to think about everything that had happened, not just in the past few days, but as far back as your memory would let you.

You thought back to the village, and how Jim had rescued you from the children throwing rocks at you. You thought back to how the villagers despised you and looked down on you for not having a family. You thought about how Jim had brought you back to the little shed at the edge of the village where you'd met Luka. You thought about how both Jim and Luka had immediately welcomed you into their family of two and how close the three of you had become after that. You thought back to that warm spring day in which you'd ran around playing with your brothers and dancing under the trees. You thought back to the last time you'd sung to Luka. This'll be the last time! I swear! You won't need to sing to me anymore after this. Why had Luka said that? And how had he been right about it being the last time?

You closed your eyes and sunk deeper into the lavender scented water. Did he perhaps know what was coming? Did he know that the village would soon burst into flames and that both he and Jim would soon die? No... that's impossible. How could he? The only way he'd be able to know all that would happen, was if he had set the fire himself, but he couldn't have... he was with you and Jim the whole time. Plus, why would he want to die? The three of you were happy, right? You were all happy, despite fighting to survive and being in constant fear of the villagers. I mean, you'd had each other, right?

You sighed with frustration to yourself and opened your eyes. Why were you just now thinking about all of this? All of that had been six years ago, so why were you just now dwelling on it? Maybe it was because you were trying to understand what kept happening... Why every time you were happy everything seemed to be taken away from you...

You began to think about the Noah's Ark Circus. Joker and Doll had saved you from those human traffickers, then welcomed you into their family. You thought about when Dagger had first given you your bow and when you had become part of the main cast and adopted the name "Robin". Your face saddened as you thought about all of the memories you had with the main cast members those six years. It grew even sadder as you thought back to Doll's limp body and after learning about the disappearance of everyone else. What exactly had happened to them? Where did they go, and why did they leave?

Finally, you thought about the week you'd had with Ms. Rebecca. Out of everyone else, you'd known her the shortest amount of time. You'd spent three years with Jim and Luka, and six years with the Noah's Ark Circus, yet only one week with that kind woman... yet, she'd taken you into her home and taught you how to work at the tavern. You'd really begun enjoying your new life and you couldn't help but feel all hope leave you as you knew you could never go back.

What's wrong with me? You thought dejectedly. Has God looked down on me and decided I'm not fated to have a family? Am I not allowed to feel happy or loved? Why does this keep happening? Why is it that every time I find a home... every time I find a family... why do they all leave?

You turned your head to the cheval mirror and looked at your sorrowful expression. I'm cursed, aren't I? You thought. I only wanted to have a home... a family, but anytime I try, chaos and death seem to follow. Maybe I'm meant to be alone. Maybe I'm not meant to have a family. Maybe I'm not meant to be loved.

You finished washing yourself before climbing out of the bath, drying off, and clothing yourself in the soft white robe. You stood in front of the mirror and into your (E/C) eyes. They used to be so bright. What happened? What happened to the girl who could just get up every time she was knocked down? What happened to the girl full of life and full of courage who cared so much?

You turned away from the mirror and crossed over to the door that led to the hallway. I'm done trying. You thought. I'm done trying to find a place where I'm welcomed and loved. It's obvious now that that will never happen. The more I try, the more pain I'll just bring for everyone. You made up your mind. After staying with Ciel long enough to get things sorted out, you'd go off by yourself again and just accept the fact that you were now alone.