Drunk in Love

Chapter Three

Ryan had been avoiding his mom's call for a few days. He wanted to have the talk with her but every time his phone rang, he practically jumped out of his skin. When his dad actually resorted to sending a text, he knew he had to call them.

"Hey, Mom. How are you?" He was sitting in his apartment while waiting for a load of laundry to dry. He spent most nights at Zach's but since they hadn't ever discussed Ryan moving in, he still felt the need to go home every day or two and do laundry or have a beer with his friends.

"Ryan, is that you, honey? It seems like ages since I've talked to you. They must be running you ragged at work because you never answer when I call." She wasn't intentionally putting a guilt trip on him but as an only child, he did feel guilty for not checking in on them more often.

"I'm sorry, Ma. Things have been a little busy at work." He took a swig of his beer and clenched his eyes shut. "And I've been seeing someone."

"What? You have? What's her name? I want to hear all about her. Does she go to school with you?" He could just picture his mom putting away her knitting needles and turning off the volume on the TV so she could focus on every word he said.

"Well, Ma. Actually..." He couldn't say it. He didn't want to keep Zach from them but he didn't want to upset his mom.

"Actually, what?" She huffed and waited about two seconds before drawing her own conclusions. "Don't tell me she's a single mother or an exotic dancer or something."

Ryan laughed. Would being a guy be worse to his conservative mother than being a teen welfare mom? He wasn't sure but he was going to find out.

"Actually, I've been seeing a man, Mom." Ryan held his breath while he waited for her to freak out. When she didn't say anything, he thought maybe she'd had a heart attack or hung up. "Mom, are you there?"

"I'm here but I don't think I understood you. I thought we were talking about someone you've been dating." He could hear the tinny sound of her picking up her knitting needles. "So what were you saying?"

"Mom, I am talking about someone I'm dating. It's a man and his name is Zach."

Her gasp was a clear indicator that she heard him this time. "Ryan, please tell me this is a joke. And if it is, it's not very funny."

"Mom, please calm down. I know this is a shock and it was a shock to me too." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to find the words to help her understand. "I didn't expect this to happen and I didn't know I was gay until I met Zach but... I love him."

"I don't know what to say," his mother whispered.

"I know. You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know because I'd like to bring him to your anniversary party."

"To our home?" The squeak of her old recliner told him she was up and probably pacing the worn carpet in the den. "All of our friends will be here. You can't come with a... a man." She whispered the last part as if the neighbors would hear from across the quarter acre lot.

"Mom, no one will care. And if they do, screw 'em. I'm happy and I hope you and Dad can be happy for me."

"You want to tell your father? Are you serious?"

"Well, when Zach and I are sleeping in the same room when we go visit, I'm sure he'll figure it out." Ryan laughed, hoping to lighten the mood. It didn't work.

"This is not funny, Ryan. I don't know what they're teaching you at that school but you need to think long and hard before you make a public declaration like that in front of everyone we know."

"I know, Mom. I've been thinking about telling you for a while and I want you to meet Zach. I think you'll really like him if you give him a chance."

"Hold on." She covered the phone and he could hear a muffled conversation. "Your father is home so I'll have to call you back, son."

"Okay." He paused, hoping to find the words to comfort her but he knew she needed some time to process his news. "I love you, Ma."

She sighed loudly. "I love you too, honey. We'll talk soon."

~**~

"Honey, I'm home." Ryan had been dropping hints about moving in more and more often as the end of the school year approached. He wanted to give up his apartment over the summer and live with Zach for real but he had to wait until Zach was ready. And the hints seemed to be flying right over his head.

"I'm in my office," Zach yelled in reply. He was getting off the phone as Ryan walked in.

"Hi, babe." Zach met Ryan in the doorway with a sweet kiss then walked him back out to the living room. "I just got off the phone with Steve and there's a food truck convention in Portland next month. I want you to come with me."

Ryan tensed at the mention of the name. He only knew of one Steve but that couldn't be who Zach was talking about. "Steve, who?"

Zach reached for Ryan's hand, lacing his fingers through it and bringing it to his lap. "You know, Steve." He cleared his throat. "My ex."

Ryan's stomach dropped. "You still talk to him?" He knew it was childish to feel hurt by that revelation but he couldn't help the sense of betrayal he felt. He stared at his hand wrapped in Zach's and willed his breathing to stay even.

"Yeah, you know he and I have been working together. He's one of my beta testers."

Ryan most certainly did not know that. "What?" he heard his voice crack but tried to be reasonable. "I didn't know it was that Steve. I thought you were working with someone you just met."

"Babe, look at me." He tugged Ryan's arm to get his attention. Ryan slowly looked up at Zach, the hurt evident in his eyes. "Tell me what's wrong."

"I just didn't know you were still talking to him... and working with him." He took a deep breath and tried to sound calm. "So there's a convention?"

Zach was giddy as he explained. "Yeah, it's in three weeks and there will be vendors from across the country. Edward is coming out and we're meeting with several companies that want to partner with us. I didn't think we'd be ready but we fixed the synching problem so we want to set up more beta sites."

"What does Steve have to do with that?" Ryan still didn't quite understand the connection.

"Well, he'll be there too. He has a waffle truck and it's an important networking event." Ryan looked away again, shocked that he was just hearing about Zach's ongoing relationship with his ex. "He wants to meet you."

Ryan's head shot up. "He knows about me?"

Zach pulled his boyfriend to his mouth and kissed him hard. "Of course he knows about you. I brag about you all the time."

"You do?"

"Babe, you know I do. Steve and I are just friends and business associates. He knows how much I care about you."

After almost eight months of fucking, they still hadn't said the words that they both felt. Zach was afraid of pressuring Ryan into more than he was ready for and Ryan was afraid of coming off as too needy.

"Okay," Ryan said, his voice rough from the stupid knot that had formed in his throat.

"You'll come with me?" Zach smiled wide and slid his hand across Ryan's chest.

"If you want me there." Ryan felt more insecure than he had in a long time. But he trusted Zach and didn't want to make a bigger deal out of it than necessary.

"I always want you with me."