Who knew how long and depressing 3 hours could be.
I didn't know if it was because of the situation in hand, the fact that I am currently in Indiana, or the run-down corner shop I was standing in. Regardless of whatever it was, it was fucking annoying.
I was a nervous wreck. I didn't want to go back and find out the truth, but I also could not wait to finally be in the loop of everything that has happened. I didn't want to be here, in this shithole, and yet the idea of leaving my mother right now was unthinkable and I didn't even know what was wrong yet. But, in the current moment, the most aggravating thing was that I had spent £7 on two bottles of water that, for some reason, would not quench my thirst.
In pressing situations, the historical version of myself would have purchased the cheapest and strongest bottle of alcohol to hand and I would not be able to recall the commencing hours. Even remembering those moments makes my body ache and my mouth produces an excess of saliva, informing me that that is exactly what its craving.
I dash out of the corner-store, my strides long and my steps aggressive in order to dismiss the callings of the alcohol bottle that were becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. At first, each step made my body heavier and my restraint weaker. That was until I inhaled as much of the fresh, November air that was possible, being able to fill my body with something other than desire and exhale the pressure that was building.
"Fuck", I whispered to myself in between deep and rugged breaths as I temporarily stopped walking to bring myself together. As my thoughts became clearer and I was more composed, I brought out my phone from my back pocket to check the time: 11.09 AM.
Shit, how could it be 11 already? I've been informing myself of the time every other minute and I could have sworn that tie was refusing to past since I left that damned house.
I turned around, walking up the street that I had just came down. One part of me wanted to run home and demand answers from my mother, but the other, more rational and newly-developed side of me wanted to enjoy the calm before the storm.
