Cross Fire (Book #2) GirlXGirl

One

       

It had been exactly fifty-nine days, according to my homemade calendar on the side of my bunk. Using a pencil eraser, I drew one more line next to the others. The grime on the walls disappeared as a tiny white streak appeared.

Fifty-nine days of prison. Two months without seeing my family, or knowing if Derik and Willi were alive, and for a dangerous rage to form deep in my soul. It was like an infected wound that was poisoning my entire body. Time had only made it worse, and sometimes I feared the pain would kill me. 

I knew it wouldn't be long till we were forced out of bed. The thought of another day here made me want to crawl out of my skin. Soon we would be shuffled to the breakfast hall where I would force stale food into my mouth just to make it through the day. Then I would fantasize about revenge, knowing the chance to act it out would never come.

Just the thought of her made my skin crawl. My fists instinctually clenched at my sides as the anger within threatened to explode. Two months here hadn't dimmed the hate at all, it had only fueled it.

Before red could cloud my vision the morning alarm sounded and signaled it was time to rise. I forced the feelings away with a few deep breaths and stood from my bed. Day fifty-nine and only the rest of my life to go.

I didn't want to accept that this is where I was supposed to end up. There was too much to do, too much I was capable of that would be wasted if kept here. Helping Chapman had been my calling, I knew it was, but prison shouldn't have happened. Something had gone wrong. Somehow fate had messed up. 

Walking down the crowded halls felt so routine even after only two months, but it had become my reality. Women shuffled lazily next to me, most of them still half asleep. I silently envied their ability to escape, knowing I couldn't do the same when I lied down at night.

When I decided to bring my eyes up from the floor I caught a sudden glimpse of an officer. A deep sense of shock and anger heated my body. Silver eyes reminded me of the night two months ago I would kill to relive. It had only been a glance, but it was just enough to resurface the vivid memory that replayed every time my eyes closed. I would never be able to forget the way Melissa had turned on me. The betrayal, the hate, or the dying need to put a bullet between her eyes.

My legs had stopped moving as the officer walked past me and my trek to the cafeteria came to an abrupt halt. Was I going crazy? Why was I suddenly trying to convince myself not to lose it?

I had to keep telling myself it wasn't Melissa. That she was long gone, but this happened often. Either one of the women here would have the same color hair, or one's voice would resemble Melissa's, and forced the anger and the hate to flare up inside of me.

Relax Alexa, I coaxed.

But the crowd of women kept moving. Their shoulders shoved against mine and kept me grounded to reality. What was I doing just standing here? If I caused a disturbance the officers would have no problem handling me. With that I started back towards the cafeteria, the blurred image of the officer's face replaying in my mind.

Every time I saw someone that resembled Melissa there was a pain so foreign yet so familiar that would take over my body. It would possess me like a demon and demand I finish the job I had been too weak to finish two months ago.

I received my breakfast and found a table on the far side of the cafeteria. It was easy to compare the cafeteria to high school because the tables seemed to be separated into cliques. I, of course, hadn't picked one and chose to sit alone, but that didn't mean segregation didn't exist here.

I was studying the bruised orange sitting on my breakfast tray when four other women surrounded the table to interrupt my morning.

"We need this table."