Unsent Letters

Letter 1

      
     My life's useless. There is no exciting things for tomorrow and so on. What for do I live? There are people who need this the most. Please, just give this life to them. I don't want to waste every single minute that I breathe for nothing. I can see no future to grasp and linger. I'm useless. I don't want to live anymore. I want to feel the pain. Please, give me pain. I wish my eyes will not open tomorrow. I wish my soul will rise from my physical body and will lead me to you. I did nothing good. There are no important things I'm excited to look up to for I myself am not important. I realize that being numb is worse than to feel the pain. I wish... *sigh*

     I miss the feeling of being loved.

     I miss the feeling as my chest tightens and everything in me gets nervous every time he gives me even if it is just a word.

     The feeling that they wanted you to be happy and independent.

     And that they will understand you for who you are.

     But who am I to be loved and understood? I'm no one's special.

     I have to deal with it. I am always accompanied by sadness and tears are my friends. I want to cry. For the last time. I love them. I love him. But they don't love me back.

     Why am I still here? Please. Let me fade. But do me a favor.
Let my soul wander to them for I will give them a peck and to him for I will caress his hair, whisper how much I love him and give him the final kiss. On his lips. For the last time. I will miss them. Him.

     For now, I'm waiting. Waiting for my wish to happen.