Finding Dance

22

I woke up on the balcony with a sleeping Cameron next to me. He was snoring softly with his arm around me. A small smile worked its way onto my face. Funny how things can change so quickly. I'm actually happy here. 

The only thing missing is Zoey. No matter what happened between us she'd always be my best friend. The day we met is forever a day I'll remember. It was honestly probably one of the best days of my life, and all the times she saved me from my dad, let me spend the night, she's a far better friend than I've ever had. A tear slipped down my cheek as I thought of her. Should I let her know I'm safe?

I shifted and a low groan that made me shiver came from Cam. "What are you doing?" He muttered. 

"I need to go check my phone, I heard a ding."

"Sure, leave me on the cold hard ground for some boy on the phone," He said sarcastically and rolled his eyes. I shrugged and got up walking into my room. I picked up my phone and looked through the notifications. A few Instagram likes, some Snapchats, and a weird text. A text from a unknown number that read;

Dear Madison,

You're damn dumb if you thought I wouldn't come after you. Is LA weather nice? Hope so, maybe we could live there together. I really miss your meals. If you thought the punishments were bad then, think about them now. All the FUN we will have. See you soon.

Love, 

Daddy

Suddenly I was paralized by fear. Anger, anxiety, and sadness swirled inside me. My heart felt like it was in my stomach as tears brimmed my eyes. I forced a smile as Cameron walked in the room, a smile playing on his lips. He looked me up and down, analyzing my face.

"What's wrong?" 

"I-nothing," I whispered, turning my back to him. I felt him stomp over to me, he grabbed my shoulders causing me to flinch. He ignored my flinch and forced me to look him in the eyes. His smile vanished as he read my eyes.

"Come on, Maddie, don't lie to me. That's the last thing I want, I'm worried about you," he whispered. I knew I couldn't repeat what's on the message I just showed him. He'd probably find out sooner or later, because if my dad really knows where I am, he'll show up. "Is this message serious?" I nodded as tears started to fall. I felt weak, I couldn't hold them back any longer. All the memories of my childhood flooded back, every smack, kick, harmful thing he said crashed into my brain like the harsh waves of a storm at the ocean. I couldn't even remember the good ones of before my mom left, I missed my mom so much. I barely remembered her in general, I can't believe she took off and left me with him. The pain was becoming suffocating. I need a release, I need to be free.

Before I could allow myself to stop crying a sob escaped my failing body. More followed the first, getting uglier by the second. I'm breaking down in front of a boy I hardly know. I knew it would happen eventually, I couldn't bottle it up forever, I just wish it wasn't now. "I can't do this anymore! I can't handle this pain, Cameron. It hurts far too much!" I said, begging the pain to stop. I continued breaking down in front of him, sobs racking my body, I cureled into a ball at his feet.

He sat down beside me and placed his hand on my back. He continued to rub it as I let out all my pain. Once I'd settled down a bit he laid next to me and wraped his arm around me and whispered,  "Es lo que es mi amigo." I stopped crying immeaditly and rolled around to look at him. That meant 'it is what it is, my friend.' My mom use to say that to me all the time and weird enough in Spanish. Her mother was in love with a Spainsh man who also said it.

"My mom use to say that to me all the time," I whispered.

"You know Spanish?"

"Sí, mi amigo," I smiled. 

"I'll protect you." 

"Thank you," I said, hugging him really tight. "I'm sorry to break on you, it's not like me. I guess you can't actually bottle everything up forever."

"That is true, so do you want to go back to sleep?"

"Not really, I kinda want to get drunk," I giggled.

"You're not in the right mind to be drunk," Cameron tried to explain which seemed to set me off again.

"All other teenagers our age are getting drunk, why can't I? I just want a few drinks to calm my nerves or make me forget, Cam! I need to have some liquid courage!" I whined and begged, hoping for something to make me forget.

"Drinking will not solve anythign right now, Madison. You need to sleep it off, you need a distraction that is healthy, alochol will not help you. Drugs will not help you in this moment. You need a healthy coping mechanism," Cameron tried explaining. Deep down I knew he was right, but at this moment I didn't want to do the right thing. I want to live, I want to feel something other than pain. So I laid down next to him and let the exhaustion I wasn't willing to admit take over. Soon I was fast asleep with tear stained cheeks.

:)

CAMERON'S POV

I knew my heart was breaking for her. To watch her breakdown completely in my arms as I'd done days before... So painful to not be able to do a thing to help her, sooth her, make her happy. She broke, right before my eyes and I couldn't do anything. I don't know all of her past but she is so broken I'm not sure how to save her. I dont' know how to help or fix her. I know she's not a toy that requires fixing but she just needs help. She needs someone to be there for her and I hope to be that person because I know I'm falling for her. I knew the second I saw her, heard her I was going to be in love with that woman. Her beauty, her personality is unbeatable. I've never fallen this fast for anyone, I've never felt this feeling towards anyone else, I've never know what it was like to be in love. I hope to treat her just the way she deserves, like a princess.

She's a princess, and I hope one day she'll be my princess.

One day everything will be okay.

I hope.