Pieces of Him

Wings (Fears and Dreams)

5/31/17

From behind the thick red curtain she could hear the crowd laughing. In an uproar from the previous act. Timidly she peeked through a thin opening in the curtain, she scanned the crowd. Her eyes bouncing from face to face searching, hunting for one familiar face in particular. Unable to find him, she desperately leaned forward pulling on a nearby rope as she nearly fell over.

"Ah, Trina! You are a worthless piece of... I swear if the elephants were up to it I would have given them your slot." The Ringleader criticized, "Don't screw this up. It's not just your career on the line. Do you want to be responsible for the fall of the entire circus?"

Hands trembling from fear, Trina shook her head.

"You're on in ten." He said sharply before stomping off.

Closing her eyes, Trina thought back to a happier time. A time when she was surrounded by the ones she loved and who loved her. She thought back to the time before the smoke stole it all away. She could still hear her father's voice in her head, "Go on, my butterfly". She could still feel her mother's gentle touch on her back encouraging and reassuring her.

All her life Trina knew what it was she wanted. She spent every day working for it, giving it her all as she trained, studied and grew. With her parents at her side she felt as though nothing could ever stand in her way. Then came the smoke, and her parents were gone. Years later it still felt as though this dark cloud of smoke was always clouded around her. Waiting the smoke was always there watching. The smoke lingered just waiting for her to fail. Once she did the smoke would descend on her, and chaos would ensue just as it had before.

The once sure footed butterfly had lost her wings that day in the smoke, but not her will.

Day in and day out she practiced. Working until she could no longer stand, until her tiny feet were covered with blisters and bruises. Still it never seemed to be enough. Every time she climbed the ladder she thought about what she needed to do. She could feel the smoke edging closer to her. She thought about what she wanted and how much this meant, and then the moment she stepped out on to the tightrope her legs would buckle and give out from underneath her. Try as she might to recover it always ended the same way. She went flying through the air, hurdling down towards the ground. As she fell the smoke engulfed her. The crowd gasped and left the tent disappointed in the failed show. The Ringleader punished her, "You are hopeless. You are a mess and no one will pay to see you preform." Only adding to the disappoint she herself felt.

After another failed attempted, Trina began to wonder if it was time to give in, or rather to give up. Stepping carefully down the muddy path towards her tent she focused on the pain shooting up her legs to distract her from the pain she felt deep within her heart.

Safely inside her tent she slid off her worn out slippers. Inhaling sharply at the grimacing pain she felt at the slightest brush against her battered feet. Out of pain and instinct she let go of her foot with the slipper still half on. Afraid to farther anger the open sores.

"Would you like some help." An empathetic voice called to Trina.

Startled she looked up to see him standing there in his full suit and top hat.

"I did not meant to frighten you. I just wanted to offer my help." He explained as he removed his hat and knelt down in front of her.

With careful forethought and gentle fingers he slid off her slipper and helped her bandage her torn up feet.

"Thank you." Trina managed to whisper.

He smiled up at her before retrieving his hat.

Trina gave him a sideways glance. She had recognized him from the circus but was unsure of his name.