I don't even know me

Intro

It was the beginning of a new school year at a new school, Ronny Jenson public high school,when I first questioned myself about my sexuality.  

I live in a  very large home. Four garages,six bedrooms, a tennis court, a pool outside and inside, two hot tubs, five Ferrari's(the cars), I could go on forever.My dad is a co-partner of a 2.5 billion company selling the best of the best. If you cant tell by now  my family is very wealthy. Im raised very religiously and go to church 3 times a week and do bible studies. I am a child of god. My mother works selling designer purses and hand held bags that are very expensive. My parents are very busy people. So I only ever se them for church time and dinner time.

Im never alone though because I have my maids and my four older brothers. The oldest is John he's 17. Then theres Aidan and Cole they are twins both of the age of 15 , a year older than me,  and then we have the youngest, Brody and he is only 6 years old. So the house is NEVER empty and I am never alone. 

"Ava, come down for  dinner", my mom yelled out my name, I could hear her because I was already headed down stairs. It smelled like warm sweet bread, Corn on the stove, and some beaf stew. 

This evening my mother cooked,which means the house chef was sick again. Usually my mothers cooking is amazing but thats only when she's in a good mood. My family and I sat at the big long, wide , and large table together and sat in these big brown chairs that felt like thrones. My father, being the man of the house, sat at the head of the table and my mother on the other side of the table and me and my siblings sat along the sides.

When we were all seated we all joined hands for our prayers. Father began to speak," Dear  god, thank you for this meal Catherine ,my mom, has prepared for us this evening". He spoke for another good two minutes about how we are all grateful for our meal. When he finally finished gracefully ending our prayers he told Sebastian, our butler, to bring in the food to set at the table for us to eat. 

I felt sick. I scarfed down all that food down in under 10 minutes. After dinner, I ran towards my room. Walking up the long stair way and up all those stairs did not help settle my stomach very well. In my room was my maid putting away my folded clothes in the drawer. 

She finished and I went to my computer and went onto my social medias. I hated seeing all these LGBTQ+ posts on all my social medias. Im not homophobic but I was raised that, that sort of stuff was a sin and that they will all go to hell. I mean love who you want but you'll still go to hell.

It was already 9:30P.M. and I was about to start my new school tomorrow morning. Its kind of scary because this is the first time I wasn't in a private school. 

I groaned having to move to the restroom across my room. I brushed my teeth , and put on the pajamas my maid set out for me, and went to bed. 

It was 6A.M. sharp. I was very tired. I had long black bags hanging underneath my big blue eyes. I put on my rope and slippers and walked across my room to get my clothes set out for me that my maid put on the dresser. It took me at lest an hour to get ready. I did my hair, makeup, and I had a very hard time choosing what to wear because at my old school we only wore school uniforms that all looked a like.

 After I was all ready for school Sebastian brought me breakfast. It was two warm sugar covered pancakes with melted strawberries and a glass of some O.J. It was delicious. When I finished eating like a pig I headed down stairs to the main hall where I kept my backpack and my school laptop. I walked out side to see that my chauffeur was ready to take me to school. 

I could see the ugly school as we were about to pull into the parking lots. The school looked HORRIBLE. There was peeling paint off the sides of the building , all the kids had on whatever they wanted to wear , and the place looked like  TRASH!! 

I could go on but that would take all day. I got out of the car to see my chauffeur staring at the school with a disgusted look on his  face. He then turned to face me and said," young lady, I will pray for you have a nice day I will be rights here to pick you up wen school is over". I thanked him and told him that I will see him again later. 

I slowly walked into the building through the main entrance of the school. Dear god it smelled like a skunk had sprayed the hallway. The lockers were small and so were the hallways. It was super crowded. It gave me anxiety. The kids here kept smiling at me as if I was fresh meat set out for bears to swallow whole. I looked out of place. I looked to be the only one wearing elegantly lady proper clothing on. It seemed to me that I was the only one there with class. It was all dreadful until I laid my eyes on her...