The Family Way

13: Animal I Have Become

(4502 words)

Eight days.

Eight days Raph had been in this group home, away from the people he was so close to calling family. He had started making friends with the guys from the home. He played Basketball with Z, got any news he needed to know and even things he didn't need to know from Lincoln, and he made an unspoken pack with Britney that they wouldn't tell on each-other and the'd help each-other out every once and a while.

Cameron was nice enough unless they did something wrong. On the third day Raph had accidentally slept in and he got stuck with three extra chores. Raph vowed never to sleep in again. To Raph's dismay Matthew had been allowed to call the house every now and again. Each time asking to talk to Raph. Raph stopped answering the phone completely, only going near the land line when he was specifically ordered to.

Raph sits on his bed, glancing around his room until his eyes land on the picture frame on his dresser. He stands up and takes hold of the frame. It had a couple corners smashed off and the picture inside was mutilated. Leo's face was scratched and colored over with marker, making him unrecognizable.

There were several holes in the picture on his chest. Raph in the picture had a slash across his chest, ripping the paper. Mikey and Donne remained untouched. They never did anything to hurt him. Raph puts the picture back on the dresser and lies down on his bed. He had had a lot of time to think and it was not kind to him. The more he thought, the more he felt the universe was punishing him.

The more the universe punished him the more he felt he should punish himself. And he did. He didn't venture to his left wrist, the four long cuts residing only on the right. He didn't want to admit it but it felt like it helped. He hadn't gotten caught but there had been some close calls. At times like now he'd stare at his wrists as he thought. Life felt so crazy he wishes he wasn't part of it, just for a while until it got to a good part.

"I don't know why I got so attached to that one. I wasn't even there as long as I have been other places. It was like two weeks." Raph mumbles to himself. He really hadn't talked much over the past couple days and when he did his voice was very quiet. That was the Raphael the boys here had come to know.

He trails a finger along each of the cuts, a name coming to mind with each of them. 'Hamato Yoshi... Michelangelo... Donatello... Leonardo.' He grimaces, looking at the last one. It was the angriest of the four.

"Hey Raph?" Raph looks up and sees Britney in the door way. He had been the one to come get him for group things most of the time. It was useful for the times he was punishing himself and reassuring too. Britney had to be one of his favorites of the boys here. "Cameron says we're leaving for the store. No one's left behind." Raph pushes himself up, pulling his sleeve down over his hand. "'Kay." Raph says, following him out the door.

"You okay?" Britney asks quietly before they reached the stairs. "I'm fine." Raph grunts, going down without another word. In the living-room the boys waited for them, bored as ever. "You guys take so long you might as well be girls!" Lincoln says, tapping his foot rapidly. Raph rolls his eyes. "Oh whatever, you're just impatient." Britney says. Cameron waves the boys out the door with him, ignoring their bickering.

Raph stares at the large blue van and his stagnant bad mood increases. It reminded him of their leader in blue, Leonard. "Smug fuck." Raph grumbles. "Language Raphael." Cameron says sternly, having learned when and how Raphael would swear. Raph crosses his arms and glares at a large dent in the side before he climbs into the van along with the other boys, sitting in the very back. This was the first time he was riding in the van though he'd seen it plenty of times.

The dent brought back a scene in his mind, a not so pleasant one at that.

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