It was today I thought that maybe it was different this time. That maybe,
just possibly it wouldn't backfire my life like how it used too. That maybe I could find someone I could actually trust. Someone that would love me and never hurt me or take me to those past situations that broke me down to feel numb. That maybe I could finally be loved the way I've always imagined.
To have someone to wipe the wetness of my tears from dribbling down my cheeks when I wasn't feeling at my best. Or, someone to make the corners of my mouth stretch so far out that my face was hurting.
Someone to lay me down and make me feel safe and always tell me how much I actually meant to them. Someone to make me feel protected. Just to have a person to spend time with and remember the things we always did together. Remember the conversations because they were so important; whether they were good or bad.
Someone to just, love. Someone I can be myself in front of and not worry what they think because I know exactly what they're thinking. He loves me and I know that that he always will. To just know that whatever happens, if one goes, if one stays, we will still love each other. Whether or not we feel the same spark, it will always be there. We'll always be apart of each other for the rest of our lives.
To feel the heartbreak and ache go through my chest the first time we fight or break up. To feel worthless and feel nothing and just hate them and wish they'd come back at the same time.
And, I got to feel it all. Even if he was a bit insane.
