13 Reasons Why Preferences

Clay Jensen for Jade 💚

I walked over to Monet's, a place where my bestfriend and I always hang out. I saw him at our usual table and I quickly went in and sat down across from him.

"Hey Jade." He greeted and pushed a cup of hot choco in my way. My heart stopped momentarily as I melted at the way he said my name, which I brushed off. I smiled and nodded at him, taking the cup to my hands and taking a sip.

I can feel the awkward tension across from us as we sat in silence, sipping at the cup and just looking at other directions. My eyes darted back at him once I cannot contain the silence and just stared at him.

I took in his features, the way his nose would curve, I've memorized those. I looked at him as if I can see through him and memories of us came flashing through my mind.

The times my heart would race as he took my hand in his, the way I'd sweat whenever he's near me. The way my stomach would flip whenever he smiles at me, and the number of days I always look for him, like, my eyes won't stop looking for him and I feel out of place whenever I won't see him. The times my heart halts when he says my name.

Is this real? Am I falling for my best friend? Best friends shouldn't feel that way right? Then it hit me like a wrecking ball.

I like my best friend, Clay Jensen.

I shivered at the thought and closed my eyes. "Are you okay?" I asked him as soon as 5 minutes passed without him saying a word. "I'm fine." He spat but quickly took it back and placed his half empty cup. "I need to go... Mom's looking for me." He mumbled before gathering his stuff and left quickly.

As I watched him leave, my heart broke at the feeling. He never left me alone even if his Mom is looking for him. This was new so I couldn't help myself from being sad and I stood up, leaving Monet's and went home.

When I reached my bedroom, that's when it all poured out. Tears were trickling down my cheeks and it was being hard for me to breathe. I just realized that I like Clay and now I feel like he hates me.

I laid down on my bed and got comfortable and soon, my tears were gone. My phone started ringing from the nightstand and I took it, seeing Clay calling. I hesitated to press the green button but I did anyway.

"Hey Jade. Sorry about earlier... About leaving early." He mumbled through the phone and my heart sank at the sound of his voice. "It's fine." My voice cracked at the end and I mentally cursed. "Bye." He said before ending the call and I held in the tears. At least he didn't hear my voice crack, yeah?

A knock then came crashing at my window. I got up and opened it, surprised to see Clay and he smiled before getting inside. "What are you doing here?" I spat but didn't mean to. I tried to stop the salty tears in my eyes and eventually failed as one started to roll down but I hid it and took a deep breath.

"Can I stay the night?" He asked and took my hand in his. The feeling of his touch sent me over the edge so I hurriedly went to the bathroom where I broke down. "Are you okay?" I heard Clay ask but I just shrugged him off and continued to cry.

"Jade." I just shook my head, forgetting the fact that he can't see me. The door soon opened and Clay sighed before walking over to me and hugged me tight. He didn't let go until I stopped crying and I just hugged him back.

"You okay now?" I nodded and he tucked a piece of my hair at the back of my ear. "Can we go to your bed now?" I nodded again and he smiled, putting his arms around me safely and carried me bridal style back to my bed.

"What's wrong, Jade?" I closed my eyes and he wiped the stray tear that left my eye. "Everything's wrong, Clay." I whispered, opening my eyes to meet his ocean-blue ones. His eyebrows knitted as he tried to figure what that means but failed.

"Everything's wrong?" "I realized about the feelings I have for you. I love the way you'd hold my hand, smile, laugh, everything. I never thought nor knew about this. I wasn't even expecting it. There's a part of me that wants us to be more than friends, Clay. The silence earlier at Monet's, made me realize that you'll never give those feelings back to me. Perhaps, to another girl. And that's breaking my heart. To think that Clay Jensen won't love me back." I explained, heartedly, and he just smiled.

"That's where you're wrong, Jade. I love you. So much. I thought it was obvious?" He trailed off and I can feel my lips curve to a smile. "I was just silent earlier because I was thinking of you. Us." He continued. "I was thinking that, maybe if I told you about what I feel, I'll ruin our friendship. I don't want that to happen." He stopped and put his hand on mine, giving me Sparks and I felt a blush creep up my cheeks.

"I love you, Jade." He said, staring straight to my eyes. My heart stopped beating as he started leaning in and once his lips touched mine, butterflies errupted on my stomach.