Anything

Ending #4: "I Gave Up On Me"

The final ending for Anything.

-

Normani walked into the apartment with bags in her hands. She laughed when she saw Camila run to help her, but ended up crashing into the wall.

"We can't send you to the hospital again Mila," Normani said, shaking her head.

Camila gave her guardian a sheepish smile. "Sorry. Do you need help?"

"Yeah, just start to put the things away."

"I can do that," Camila said, nodding her head. She grabbed one of the bags and walked to the kitchen with it.

"I better not hear a chip bag open!"

"Damn it!"

Normani smiled. The twenty year old shook her head. She had aged out of foster care two years before. She was able to get a steady job and rent out an apartment. A year later, Ally aged out.

The both girls were able to support each other and tried to get their sisters back. Normani and Ally were able to get some custody of Camila and Dinah. A social worker checked on them regularly, but things were going great.

Now that Normani was twenty, Ally was nineteen, Dinah was seventeen and Camila was sixteen, they were all able to work and help around so money wasn't a problem.

And Lauren, none of the girls had heard of her. They looked for the older girl, but hadn't been able to find her.

-

Camila was walking home from school, her head in her phone. She gasped when she bumped into someone. She watched her phone fall onto the ground. She looked up, her brown eyes connecting with familiar eyes.

"Lauren?"

The girl in front of her had faded brown hair, her face was sickly pale, she looked like she hadn't had a full meal in some time. She had dark circles under her eyes. Her lips were very chapped (more so than usual). And her eyes, they were a dull gray color (duller than when she was trying to support the four girls).

Lauren blinked a few times. "Camz?" She smiled. "You're grown up."

Camila smiled. "Yeah. It's been a four years."

Lauren opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out.

"Mani and Ally are taking care of DJ and I, want to see them?"

Lauren looked down, her hands rubbing against each other. "I-I don-don't think that's a good idea."

"Lolo, you're still our sister." Camila reached out and grabbed Lauren's hand. She dragged her back to the apartment.

-

Lauren flinched as she heard the silent shouts. Lauren stood up and looked at the pictures hanging on the walls. There were many pictures of the four girls. There was one of the four at each girl's graduation. She saw Normani and Ally's prom pictures.

"She left us!" Dinah hissed, shaking her head.

"We don't know why," Camila shot back.

Lauren wiped the tears in her eyes.

"It's been four years! Why the fuck is she coming back now?"

"Dinah, why are you so angry?" Normani questioned, frowning.

"She gave up on us! She left us behind! We waited for her to get us back and she never did! How can you forgive her for that?"

Lauren let out a small sob.

"Lauren? Why did you give up on us?" Ally asked, looking at her old sister.

"I didn't give up on you. I gave up on me. I thought if I disappeared, you'd find families that would want you, families that would give you a better life."

"We turned them down thinking you were going to come for us," Dinah snapped, glaring at Lauren.

"I-I'm sorry," Lauren whispered. "I-I keep fucking up. I keep fucking up your lives."

Camila shook her head. "We love you and you love us."

"Y-you girls don't need me. I-I-"

"You're staying here. You look like you need actual food," Ally said, giving her older sister a smile.

Lauren looked surprise.

"Please?" Camila asked, looking at Lauren with pleading eyes.

"O-okay."

-

Lauren watched as her four sisters worked around the kitchen. They were all in sync. Lauren felt left out. She felt like she didn't belong, and she didn't. She belonged out in the street.

The five ate dinner, four out of the five joking and laughing. Lauren listened to them, not joining in. She would smile when talked to, but was quiet for the majority of the time.

(Lauren and Dinah also had a long talk. Dinah told her how she needed Lauren, but the older girl just wasn't there. Lauren told her how she lost everything and hit rock bottom. She told her how their lives were better that she wasn't a part of it. Lauren told her that no matter where she was, she was always proud of her. She gave Dinah a ring that meant everything to her.)

That night, while everyone slept, Lauren grabbed her jacket and walked out. She left a note saying that she didn't belong and that she loved everyone of her sisters. The note said was sorry she couldn't do anything right. She said they were making her proud, and to just keep looking forward.

With one last, soft goodbye, she turned and walked out of the apartment. Out of her sisters' lives.

-

They were sad. But they had expected it. Lauren never looked happy. She looked even sadder. Two years after Lauren walked out of their lives, Normani received a phone call.

"This is Normani," the girl said into her phone, as she put the key in the keyhole.

Normani froze, as the caller started telling her that they found a body with Lauren Jauregui's ID on them. They needed Normani, the next of kin, to identity the body.

Normani let out a small sob, before responding that she was going to be there.

After hanging up, she sat on the closest chair. Many things running our in her head.

Lauren could be dead. She could be gone. And a part of her felt relieved if it was. Lauren could be free. They wouldn't have to wonder if she was okay anymore. It was easier.

But Lauren could be alive. Her big sister could be alive and breathing.

Normani took another moment to herself before standing up. She took a deep breath and walked out, just like Lauren did that fateful day.

And just like Lauren, Normani didn't know what to expect.

But deep down, she knew.

-

Just like Hold On, I Still Need You, Lauren is either dead or alive.

(She's dead, OD.)

But this is it for this story.