Goro's birthday

A supposed to be happy day

It is the time of the year again. The day where i should feel happy. I mean at least that's what people tell you to feel.
But in the end, all i do is like the other day.
Even in school, no one bother to say it to me. It's not like i'm the most sociable person in school.
Still even it's me, i still want someone to at least remember this one day that i have.
Maybe i should just go straight home after school, but it will feel even more sad i guess.
Without destination, i move my feet. And when i stop, i see a bakery in front of me and i think should i buy a cake for me.
But i know it's just a silly thought. Even if i buy the cake, no one will eat it anyway.
I keep staring at the bakery, as if I'm waiting for someone to buy the cake for me.
Few minutes pass, i see bunch of people come in and out from the bakery. A group of girls, mother and son, even couples.
I can't help to feel bitter a little in the inside, but i smile anyway.
A bitter smile.
That's when i feel a vibrates in my pocket.
What a surprise, Sae suddenly call me. I think it must be about work, since that "outbreak incident" that place has been very busy.
I take my phone and answer. It seems she wants me to come to the office now, though she doesn't tell me what is her business. Cause i just accept it when she ask me, i think today is better for me to burry myself in working than worrying about small problem that i have in my personal life.
And then i arrive at the office, funny cause sae is already standing infront of the entrance door.
Goro : Sae-san, are we not working today ?
Sae : off course we are but i want to have lunch before continue working.
Goro : now ? But i just come...
sae : doesnt matter, it's just a quick one.
Goro: oh...

I was quiet shock when sae says she wants to have lunch right after I arrive at the office.
It's really not like her. I mean... usually i'm the one who beg for free time even just a moment.
But i decided to just keep quiet and go.

Goro : it's so practice to go everywhere with car
Sae : yeah... and efficient.

I can't help but feel tired of what's happening today. Every year always like that.
I remember i used to hope for my mother to come and celebrate my birthday. That was when i'm still in orphanage.
The more i think the deeper my mind is and eventually i fell asleep.
Then i feel the car stop. I slowly open my eye and we are in front of a cafe. It looks rather antique if i could say.
Goro : are we arrived yet ?
Sae : yeah... let's go.
Goro :uhh... okay ...
what was the dream that i have again , i forget completely. But i feel so much refreshed. I come out from the car and go into the cafe.
It seems like sae already book the seat so we go straight sitting there.
Sae : well, just order anything you want from the menu.
Goro : hmm... i want steak... cause it looks delicious.
Sae: i see... then steak it is...
Goro: ...
Sae : i will have the same then.
As the waiter takes away the menu, i keep looking at my surroundings.
It's really antique, i feel stunned by the decoration that they use.
Sae : *giggle* you should look the expression on your face now.
Goro : *shock* aa... sorry...
Sae : no need. I think this place is wonderful too. That's why i choose this place.
Goro : *confuse* mmm... are we celebrating something ?
Sae : yes we do.
I think I'm forgetting more than i think i am. When i wake up inside of the car my head feel ligther so my mind just slip somewhere.
I don't get this situation at all.
Suddenly the waitter come and bring a plate of very beautiful pancake.
Seriously i never seen anything as beautiful as this is. Even the plate is amazing.
The waitter then put the plate on the table as Sae light a candle.
Something strike my mind but... is it really that??
Sae : what happen ? You seems to be shock?
Goro : uh... is it... *i unconsciously make my voice smaller* for my birthday ?
I look down as i speak.
Sae : off course it is...
Akechi Goro... happy birthday... today you turn 17 right?
I can feel a smile on my face, i dont know why. It's like something i never feel for a long time. And i just smile honestly like a little kid.
Goro : *nod* yeah...
sae : sorry it's not a cake. Since i dont know who will eat them. And i'm not a cake person myself so... i think it's only fair to buy a pancake since you can finish it yourself and... it's technically still a cake.
Goro : i... i dont mind at all... i'm just so happy to celebrate it this year.
Sae : sure... you've been helping me a lot. So it's only fair to celebrate your birthday.
Goro : thanks...
i dont think sae will remember my birthday but i eat the pancake all by myself. I was so happy since the pancake taste 10000000% better than normal pancake. Oh... and i take a lot of photo with sae. Although her expression are mainly stiff. After the birthday lunch we go back to the office to check on a few works. Actually more than a few. Cause i ended up working like usual. But i feel lot happier. When i go back, i go to that bakery once again and buy a very small cake.
As i home i put all my stuff. Take a plate , and my mother's photo.
I put it across where i sit.
I close my eyes for a while and stare at the photo.
Goro : mother... today i have another birthday. I know i do it every year. I apologize to you for my existence. And today must be the day that you hate so much. It's not like i enjoy having a birthday too. But even so i  feel like even as a bastard child like me, there is someone who remember my birthday. And i want to celebrate it with you again mother. Cause i remember we used to do it.
My mouth stop talking and i light the candle. As i say happy birthday to myself and start eating the cake.
Goro : cakes are delicious... i feel like eating lots of cake today.
Nothing change in my life that day not even a single bit, but for a while. Even just for a while when i eat those birthday lunch with Sae. I feel somewhat warm and happy.
I wonder how long have this feeling disappear from my life...
eventhough i know it's just temporary feeling. But i... i still want to cerish the short moments. Even just for a while.