Finding My Way Back

Spoken Words

Chapter 2

Pulling her knees to her chest Crater had awaken feeling very unusual, she’d had that dream with different endings every night since she could remember. Yet this night really made her think. She sniffed the air trying to block the lovely aroma of fresh breakfast pancakes. She tried sensing a stench, a vaginal stench, of course. But she could smell anything, that’s when she tried bending her neck down as far as possible to her crotch. Becoming unbalanced she began tilting from left to right.  

“Yes girl we gone be…” Essences voice trailed off to the sight of her sister rolling all over her bed with her head in between her crotch. “What the what? CRATER,” she called in all shock, “What are you doing?”

Being startled she instantly stopped rolling, well from what she thought. You could tell Crater was on the edge of the bed because of the creaking sounds the old thing was making. PLUMP!

“And down the fool goes” Essence sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Dang you could’ve helped me” Crater suggested. Essence paid her no mind and proceeded into the closest to get clothes for school. Crater knew Essence would take forever to get dressed because she claimed she always had ‘a million and one people to impress’. “Can you hurry in there so I can get my clothes?” Crater asked. She slowly gets up from the floor grabbing her lower back.

“Would you like to do me the distinct pleasure of picking you outfit first?” Essence sarcastically remarked. Essence always had a snobby domineer toward Carter. Crater defiantly peeped it but never said anything; she just knew everyone would be on ‘Oh Miss. Essence’ side anyway.

“Gladly” said Crater tilting her head and cocking a smile.

“It’s gone take you, what, all of three seconds anyway?” Essence just had to have a lasting remark. Crater searched through he clothes in the closet trying to prove Essence wrong and actually find a decent outfit. Yet she only repeated negative thoughts to herself of, “why even trying.” They were down to their last days of high school at Harvest Hill and she hadn’t tried keeping up with the trends since her freshman year.

“I’ll just wear Nike leggings and a tee; I mean it’s no biggie to me to dress nice.” Crater mumbled with a shrug. Essence peeked up from filing her nails while leaning on the dresser they shared; she was kind of admiring that Crater was taking longer than usual, until she heard what she said, that is.

“Really Cray? Why? You never try, since mom died you’re just like… there” Essence said with disappointment allowing her arms to drastically fall at her side. “Come on, remember what you told me?” the girls repeated together, “It’s my every wish to get a guy to kiss me before I graduate”.

“I get it but it’s never going to happen so its whatever” Crater stated and looked down.

“Cray, look we don’t have for this, this morning, you look good in leggings anyway, just try maybe... putting your hair in a bun today. And apply mascara to those long lashes so they can explode.” She suggested with hand gestures. Crater wasn’t feeling it and just wanted to get these last days over with and graduate and be on her way.

“Essence everybody aint like you. Everyone isn’t as pretty or yellow or whatever as you” Crater began, “some people like dressing down and not giving a shit about society and their thoughts, IM ONE OF THEM” she firmly stated.

“And you aren’t one of them” Essence mocked back. Crater made a face, flipped her lip upward, and turned heading for the bathroom. The thing was Essence knew Crater envied her and she just flaunted it in her face as if it was nothing to it. Tears streamed down Craters face as she entered the bathroom Nana Augustine was standing outside their bedroom door the entire time listening to the entire conversation the girls were having.  She said nothing though; Nana wanted so desperately for Crater to stand up and look Essence in the eye and tell her how she really felt. Nana knew she wasn’t always going to be around in the real world to speak for her, she had to learn on her own.