Grapefruit 101

After lots of traveling through Hyrule and the Twilight realm, it only made sense that Link would grow tired and need a break. That's where his favorite place comes into play; Telma's bar.

Not only was Telma a nice woman, but the bar was enjoyable for Link, and sometimes for Midna. Link could get a break from traveling, as well as Midna's smart ass attitude since she was forced to stay in his shadow, and Midna, for the sake of not getting bored to death waiting for Link to finish his beverage, would often eavesdrop on the conversations of people. They were quite intriguing to Midna. People would have full stories, confess their problems, discuss secret affairs and so on. Perhaps she'd learn something useful from the conversations.

...

"Oh come on Link! We just went to Telma's bar two days ago!"

Link tried to ignore her complaining. He went through this every time he tried to go to Telma's. "Midna, what's your problem with the bar? You do this every time I try to take a rest."

"It's so boring for me! I just sit and wait for you while you talk to other people and take sooo damn looong!"

Link rolled his eyes and ignored her. Midna noticed that she was being ignored and decided to mess with him some more. "Link, do you go to the bar a lot just to see Telma? Do you like her or something?"

Link scoffed, but continued to ignore her. Midna began to sprout a mischievous grin.

"Perhaps you do have a little crush on her! Is that what it is link? Do you just wanna kiss her? Oh! I know! You want nothing more than to bury your face right in her b-"

"OKAY, enough Midna. I'll be as quick as possible, ok? Please..I just need a break. After all, I'm the one who's been running around Hyrule while you've been either on back or in my shadow. I'm tired."

"Uhhgg! Whatever." Midna finally stopped her protest.

...

They arrived at the bar, and went through Their usual procedures. Link was conversing with others sitting at the bar area, while Midna was sitting in his shadow, bored out of her mind. That was until two young ladies walked into the bar.

"OMG I can't believe you did that to him!"

"I know right! It was actually pretty fun!"

Midna was interested. She couldn't help but tune into their hysterical conversation.

"Okay, wait..how did you do this again?"

"Okay, so before he got home, I took a grapefruit and cut both ends of it off."

"Yea..and then what?" The girl asked, an eager and desperate tone in her voice.

"Okay, okay! Then I cut a hole in the middle of it.."

"How big was the hole?"

"What do you think? It was the same size of his dick!"

Midna raised and eyebrow. She was somehow even more interested in this conversation. She continued to listen in.

"Omg, only you would know the approximate size! You slut!" They were laughing hysterically.

"Okay, okay, so then...well, you know.." Her friend gave a mischievous smirk and raised her eyebrows.

"Know what? Wait...did you..?"

The girl nodded, a suggestive smile upon her face. The other girl placed a hand over her mouth and looked at her friend in disbelief.

"O.M.G. That's crazy, even for you!"

"I know, but it was fun, and he enjoyed it a lot so it was a win-win situation, right?"