to fall

moving forward

he kisses me more.

he tells me he loves me, he holds me tight.

he brings me flowers and caresses me when my heart feels like falling apart.

He answers my questions, and proves my doubts wrong.

when I've had a long day, he rubs my head and tells me to relax before playing my favorite music.

I close my eyes.

I see him and me, not you and me.

he's mine. And he makes it evident to every one we know.

his reputation; better than my last. better than yours.

he's patient, he tells me he cares and I can whole heartedly believe his words.

his actions speak and improve louder than his words ever speak.

he tells me I'm beautiful. he throws away magazines because he knows I look closely at girls that I think hold more potential than me.

"You're the only girl for me. My only girl."

he makes me dinner, and not to sound materialistic; he buys my gifts. he thinks I care about the gifts but I don't.

I care about him.

I want him near me, he protects me.

he loves me and takes care of me.

one day or so, it rains. I love the rain. he takes himself and me, to a garden where we sit under a tree; shielded from the rain.

we eat. we laugh. we talk.

I start to think about you.

I cry.

he holds me.

I tell him why I cry and he understands.

he holds me tighter.

he tries in every way to better himself for me, prove to me that he's nothing like you.

I still love you.

Why?

he said I shouldn't worry about you. I don't need you.

You're toxic to my mentality.

He tucks me deep into the sheets of satin he purchased in my favor. he kisses my head and hums a few sweet words to close my eyes and help me fall deeper into a sleep I need.

you still linger throughout my brain.

I can't sleep.

I wake up in tears; he wakes up holding me.

he kisses me and tells me to look into his eyes.

"I'm here. don't cry. sleep my love."

I obey, I sleep again.

he wakes me up with breakfast and I smile lightly, remembering you still.

how come I can't move on?

he tells me to prepare for a series of events that will follow through the day.

he kisses my hand hand; pulls me into his warm chest.

my heart beat slows.

I relax.

he touches me.

I smile.

he sits me down at a small local diner, where he kisses my hand and watches my features.

"I love you so much."

I believe his words and look down, remembering when you told me the same.

you weren't for me, but deep down I wanted you to be.

"I love you most."

the outer corners of his mouth look up, and he holds my hand once more.

hours past.

I snug deep within the satin again.

it's midnight.

he sleeps next to me, small sounds escaping his lips. he's at peace.

it's silent, and I can't sleep.

i admire his soft face; the moonlight cascading along his jawline.

he loves me.

but does he really? he says so.

you said so. you didn't. you lied.

is he lying?

he's crazy about me.
but I'm still crazy about you.