"Hope" A Colleen Ballinger fanfic

Chapter 3

"Your who? Boyfriend, he looks like
Bernie Sanders. Doesn't he?" I said.
"No James, He's so dreamy!" She said.
"Dreamy like in ugly Dreamy? I'm not jealous of Joshua. One because he's ugly. Two because I will get Colleen.
"James, if you're going to sit here and insult Josh I think you should just go home." Colleen said.
"Why can't Josh leave?" I said.
"Because he's not being rude like you are." Colleen said.
"Yes he is, he stole my lady. And Colleen guess what. I think Josh is a lady." I said.
"LEAVE!" Said Colleen.
So I did. I didn't want to cause a fight of some sort so I just walked. I looked really sad. I thought of funnier things to cheer me up. For one- My mom I came into her room one time and I caught her listening to Madonna while using a drum as a microphone. Two- My dad trying to work a computer. Three- My moms fat legs in skinny jeans. Four/ My Grandma with a selfie stick. Five- Trump? Six- People really think Justin Bieber straight. Seven- Dogs are lucky they don't have worry clogging the toilet they go outside. My mom went outside once because my sister did a mean on the toilet. I arrived home and I just remembered what just happened. Joshua just stole my girl. Know if I went into my house I would never see Colleen ever again. Josh and Colleen would get married and leave me in the dust behind poor and alone. They probably create some stage name like Joshleen or something. I would be sitting at home in my pajamas reading the news paper like my dad. Oh no! I can't be like my dad! He acts like Donald Trump. I have to win Colleen's heart back. But I'll spit tomorrow right now I want a Taco. I went inside and I thought how to win Colleen's heart back. First- get a Taco second- I don't know the rest. Maybe I won't have a life if I never get to Colleen. Maybe I'll never have a Taco either. I really need to stop thinking about that Taco and start thinking about Colleen. This guy from across the street just saw me standing in front of the house.

"Get in your house young man before I tell your mother" Said the neighbor I don't know.

" Why, I dreaming about a girl. Get in your house before I tell your wife. I'll go back to my world and you go back to do your puzzle you old man".

People are so stupid. They don't know when I'm day dreaming about a girl. Old people are the worst when it comes to this kind of stuff. They are so bad. They think oh, I need to be a 30 year old virgin. I think they are stupid and so wrong. That reminds me of a story way back when I was seven years old. Let me tell you it:

One time this Charity was having a Lemonade stand to help support the people of the area who are Homeless or poor. Now me at this age I didn't know really anything. I still don't really know anything now but that is not important. So this one time Me and my whole family went to a friends house. Now they were not my friends but they were friends with my parents. Anyways I'm getting off track here. This Kid named Dan and I went down to there lemonade stand to get some fresh lemonade on a hot sunny day. I'm sure the lady at the stand working their was not having it on this Hot day. Lemonade costed $1.50 and we only had $1. I asked the lady.

"One lemonade please.''

"$1.50 then.''. She said.

"Lemonade is Usually $1. Why is it $1.50." I said.

" This is for Charity. For Homeless and Poor people in our area." She said.

"I'm poor I only have one dollar. I'm charity. Gemmie free lemonade.'' I said.

"I most certainly will not give you free lemonade." she yelled.

"I'm poor, I live in that litter box over their." I said.

"That's my cat's litter box! You fool you don't live in their! She yelled.

"Oh, See I pooped in their because I'm poor. Looks like someone has to clean it up. I'll give you one hit. I'm talking to her right now." I said with a laughter.

"YOU DID WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!! You go scoop it out right now!" She yelled.

"So you mean Scoop the Poop." I said.

"Go away! Next!" She said.

"No lady you do not Next me!" I said.

I reached my hand over for a cookie Then she smacked my hand away and told me "NO!"

so guess what I did. I smacked her in the wrinkles right back.

"NO! You do not smack my hand! That's a huge No no. Oh I'm sorry. You don,t like being Punished. This is a taste of your own medicine. That's what it is." I walked away in so much angry. But, I wasn't finished with her. I snucked from the back of the Lemonade stand took the Lemonade pitcher and I dumped it on that old lady's head. I also yelled at her and said.

" Boom, I got my sweet Revenge old lady. Next time maybe you don't do that to me you little Bit"

"James! knock that off. Now you apologize to this here lady right now!" My mother said.

" I'm so sorry you're stupid.'' I said to the old lady.

That is all I can remember. When I stopped day dreaming I felt a little push and then a Voice. It was Colleen. She started off with:

"I broke up with Josh!'' Colleen said.

"Really?" I said.

"YA! I made a video about me singing! what to come to my house to see it? She said.

"Ya lets go!" I said.

When we got to Colleen,s house their was a computer in her room with the video open on Youtube.

I went ahead and looked at all the comments on the video. They were so mean. I wanted this to stopped so I grabbed a knife from the kitchen and I started stabbing the Computer to make it stop.

" DON"T! that doesn't work my dad already tried that!' she yelled.

WOW I was amazed. Their was so much hate. They Cussed more than when my mom did when Trump was elected. Colleen didn't care. She asked me>

"Lets finish that kiss on the couch.' she said.

so we did and I loved life at this very moment. I knew what I was going to do> I was gonna ask Colleen if she wanted to be my Girlfriend.

"Colleen would you like to be my Girlfriend?" I asked.

"I surely will be." she said.

That night we slept on the floor in the living in front of the fire warm and cozy. Colleen and I were dating so now were are officially Jamesleen. We fell asleep that night happy and cozy.