Wishes And Internet Kisses

Chapter 22 - "You are my music."

Chapter 22

"You are my music."

"I've made you breakfast." Mom sighed and sat at the edge of my bed with a plateful of gluten free pancakes. 

I mumbled and turned on my side.

"What's the matter?" She quivered slightly.

"It's the 6th day. How am I supposed to face the fact that he's gone?"

"He might not be."

"Yeah, right. I need to get dressed since I have to spend time with him before we leave tomorrow." I dragged myself from the bed and threw on a baggy t-shirt and leggings. I then tied my hair up in a truly messy bun and slid my feet into my pre-tied trainers.

Mom sighed and trailed out of my room along with the pancakes.

When I arrived at Olly's room nobody was in there but him and the annoying machine. I spent the time talking to him and updating him on how everyone was.

"You know, I've been thinking," I said and looked at his motionless face. "I wanted to get a tattoo of something you said to me," I quickly got my notepad from my backpack and flicked through the pages until I found the one I wanted. "Sometimes in life there is no music, but you still have to dance along without it." 

As I put my notepad back I cried like I'd cried when I first found out he had attempted. I cried so hard that it was just noise, and by the time I'd finished I felt like I could sleep for days. Grasping his hand tightly, I noticed it was warmer than before.

"Hey Beatrice," Anne walked in a few minutes later with Rose and Simon. "How're you?"

"Okay," I lied through a smile.

"You know I'm an excellent tear spotter, so don't lie to me." She sat in her usual spot, sprawled along 2 hospital chairs.

"Never mind me. Come and feel his hand." 

She came over and traced her fingers over where I was holding. 

"Warmth." I whispered, smiling.

I sat in the same place all day and listened to the stabilizer. My ears were numb and the noise seemed normall. I played a couple of rounds of eye spy with Simon and Rose and in the end they fell asleep on Anne's lap after colouring in thousands of different pictures for Olly. His bed side was now full of get well cards and presents, and I'd even put our little fluffy friend at the end of his bed.

"You're really good with children, Anne. I could never do that." I complimented her, gesturing to Rose and Simon.

"I've practically grew up as their big sister," She stroked Rose's hair gently. "I've seen this family get ripped apart bit by bit and that's why I sometimes come off as a bitch, I'm only protecting them from this. But I failed."

"You haven't failed. You've succeeded in keeping them distracted. I haven't seen one of them sad, mourning or sat feeling sorry for themselves and it's all down to you."

She smiled brightly. "Thank you."

"You should go into child care,"

"I was thinking about it actually. I love working with children, and animals too."

I had misjudged Anne entirely. She had a lot going for her. Even now she was in leggings and a band tee and she still looked like she was about to go on the runway. She had her hair in a neat side braid and since her hair was extremely long it looked nice on her. The only make up she was wearing was a little lip gloss, a tiny flick of eyeliner and mascara. Her complexion was all natural. No spots. No blackheads. Nothing.