Fatal Love or Plain Infatuation?

14| Baby put your trust in me

Shawn's POV :

Trust.

A five letter word.
A word that beholds so much meaning within itself, yet so fragile.
It feels as if walking on thin ice.
It is as if we give the person a very breakable, thin glass vase.
After that it's their choice whether they'll drop it to the floor, throw it away and watch as the little, fine glass pieces scatter across the path we walk on every day.

The invetible path we have to go through.
That path being called our life.

They throw the glass away, break it and walk away.

They let us walk through it.
They watch us as our hearts and souls bleed crimson red but they pretend that they don't see they scars they carve.

They watch us as an outsider and gloat in our pain.
Their sadistic self enjoys it.
They enjoy watching as the dim light in our eyes slowly evaporates from them as well as our lives.
Their venom indirectly piercing our skin, getting slowly but surely deep into our bloodstream.

But it doesn't always have to be that way.

None of the mentioned doesn't have to occure if the person cherishes the vase we give them.

They can store it away, put flowers in it and do everything to nurture it.

They make it all worth it.
They manage to keep all of our deepest and darkest secrets deep within themselves.

That action itself makes the person giving the vase - TRUST , feel so much graditude towards the reciever.

It saves the person from shattering, because with breaking the trust someone gives you , you break that person in the process as well.

You dent and damage them for a long period of time.

Their heart builds a wall around itself.

It creates guards around the wall to protect it and protect themselves from ever getting hurt again.

Trust represents the most fragile characteristic a human could posess.

You have to be careful every step of the way, choose wisely who you give your trust to.

So as I stared back at those two big blue orbs full of worry and wonder I thought back to myself :

Should I hand her my trust?
Should I let her see all my scars, flaws and wounds?
Can I do that?
Am I ready to do that?

"Steph, I understand you have a lot of questions.
I understand you're confused.
I am too, because I have a lot of questions myself.
But trust me when I say it's better if we .."I trailed off.

"If we what, Shawn?" she said in a soft voice and put her hand over mine.

"If we part ways for a while. Some things should remain within us.
I- it's too much of a risk, too many things held on the line and I don't think I'm ready for that.
Truthfully I don't think I ever will. " I finished ,my heart sinking to my feet.

I couldn't.
I just couldn't let her in.
Even though it had been such a short period of time, she has captivated me.

I cared too much about her for some reason unknown to me.
More than I should.

But maybe that is the reason everything has moved so fast.
Too fast.

Everything was moving too fast.
And that scared me more than words could explain.

For the first time in a long time my heart was shaking, trembeling.

But I knew I had to walk away before it got worse.