I Don't Know

How it started

The cold wind blew on her face as she wiped another tear away. She was alone and hurt not physically but emotionally. Her whole world was falling apart, and she knew it. She was sad, and scared..... She was scared to let her family down, scared that they would see the sadness in her eyes. She had 5 sisters and 1 brother, they all looked up to her mostly because she was the oldest but also because she looked as if she had everything together always laughing and smiling. But no one seen her when she was curled up in a ball under her blankets hiding from the world and trying to sleep, but crying instead, No one could read her mind when she looked in the mirror at herself no one knew what she thought of herself and how she hated how she looked she was short, fat, didn't dress well, or do her hair, she wasn't good at make up, she thought she was ugly not just because of her looks, but also because no one ever stayed...no one stayed longer than a month she wondered " Why does everyone leave me, am I really that bad". She had no one there to hold her when she cried or to tell her that it will be alright . Her dreams were the only place she felt safe, happy, loved, cared for, her dreams were her happy place.

" God Alexis can't you do anything right, your such a damn mistake. Your a fucking idiot!!!"

Tears ran down the girls face as the harsh words her mother said soaked in.

" Mom I'm sorry " she said as she wiped her tears.

" Go to your room!! I don't want to see you face for the rest of the night!!"

" Yes ma'am"
" what did you FUCKIN say to me"
" I said yes ma'am"
" Don't you fucking lie to me you fucking Bitch I'm sick of your shit!!"
" May I go to my room now mother?" I said hoping she'd say yes and not make me feel worse.

"JUST FUCKING GO!!"