I Don't Know

You

I started texting a girl who was one of a kind. She took my mind off of reality, she always had something to say and always made me laugh. She's tall with blond hair, green eyes, and a smile that could light up the whole world, and when she laughed I couldn't help but to smile. She made everything seem right. She was kind,
caring, loving, funny, sweet, and my safe and happy place. Although she didn't know everything. She didn't know how I wanted to run away, she didn't know how I still wanted to die, or how I still cry at night, she didn't know how when we argue I get scared that she'll leave me, she didn't know how when people are yelling at each other how it scares me, she doesn't know that I stoped eating, or barely leaves my room, not because I don't want to but because I can't... I can't find the energy to do it. She didn't know much of how I felt anymore and neither did my friends. I stopped telling them stuff because I knew they didn't care. And I was fine with it, or so I thought. Instead it seems that it made things worse. I was in denial until one of my sisters tried to confront me, but I just ignored.

There was only one thing that was on my mind now.... that girl. What if she found out how I felt... would she leave me? Would she still want to be with me? Would she still care? No I think she'll just turn away. I love her so much, but there is one thing I don't want... I don't want her to meet my father. She would see similarities and not all good. She would leave me for sure. But for now she knows only certain things. And for now she's mine. I'm not alone.