Sex God's Sassy Girl (SGS#5)

Chapter 11

Tracy

hindi ko ba alam anong masamang ispirito sumapi sa akin why i did that? paanong bumigay ako agad kay June at nakipag-talik sakaniya kagabi? halos mabaliw naman ako kaka-isip na pumatol ako kay June kagabi, that's insane. i shouldn't have do that, bakit ba ang rupok mong babae tracy? kahit na mayroon ng ngyari sa amin noon ay hindi ko alam, malakas talaga ang apekto kapag sex drive ang usapan, why i'm acting like this? fucking insane. maba-baliw na ako kakaisip, i had sex with him.

bago pa magising si june ay bumangon na agad ako, i don't want him to see me baka anong isipin niya kahit na nasa kama ko siya, hindi ko rin talaga alam paano siya haharapin, kinakabahan ako? wala akong ideya anong sasabihin kay June kapag tinanong niya ako, will he even remember that? kung yung ngyari nga sa amin a years ago hindi niya maalala, yan pa kaya? we always had a sex when he's drunk. ano 'to? sinasadyang lasingin siya kapag may mangyayari sa amin?

“Hey..” nabaling ako sa boses na narinig ko i was cooking pancakes for breakfast, he's awake and here i am again nervous breakdown ano bang gagawin ko? anong ire-react ko ngayon sakaniya? fuck. i'm nervous. i wanna hit him, i wanna punch him but i can't lalo na ng lapitan niya ako at hinawakan sa bewang ay hinalikan niya ako sa aking labi.

those kisses. “good morning.” bati niya sa akin hindi ako nakaimik, fuck. you need to say and do something tracy huwag kang tumahimik lang and duh! he kissed you for sake what now? tatahimik ka nalang ba lagi? damn, tracy. act like a sassy, act like a woman. he is not your boyfriend to kiss you. okay?

calm down. “is there any problem?” naga-alalang tanong ni june sa akin. oh please stop acting like you cared for me, alam ko naman may ginagawa ka lang para masaktan ako. why are you doing this to me june? sana hindi nalang ako pumayag na lumipat, parang lumalala ang lahat simula nito, sana bumalik nalang ako ng malaman kong makakasama pala kita sa iisang bubong.

“June, you know one night stand right?”

tumaas ang kilay ko. “please don't take this seiously its just a one night stand, june.” tumawa naman siya sa akin, he is use to this i know dahil siya? he is a fucking d-ckhead asshole. alam kong ganito sinasabi niya sa mga nakakama niyang babae, he already had that with me. sex, ano? yun naman ang gusto niya hindi ba? ang italik ako para masaktan ako.

“Wow. do you think its just that?”

ngumiwi siya. “Tracy, do you think i did not know about that you think this? i'm playing games with you? Tracy, i'm sorry but i'm not. i'm taking serious with you, i just want to figure out why are you turning my head upside down.” aniya.

me? hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at inilagay ito sa pusong bahagi ng katawan niya, he is making me feel his heart. his heartbeat, i can feel that beat of his heart.

“you can't make me believe with you.”

ibinaba ko ang kamay ko at agad na umalis, hinding-hindi na ako maniniwala sa sasabihin mo june, i'm sorry pero hindi kailanman mo ako makukumbinse na siya? maniniwala ako agad sa kung anong sinasabi niya dahil hindi, hindi ako maniniwala agad sakaniya, he's crazy. i'm not crazy to believe him just like that.

after ko sa bahay na iyon lumabas ako and i found myself on the house of Lewis, i step on and knock on their doors someone open it for me, Tyrone. Kuya Dwayne's first child. ang swerte ni kuya na may asawa siya na kayang tanggapin ang anak niya sa ibang babae which is hindi naman rin niya sinasadya na mabuo, ang swerte niya talaga.

“Oh, nabisita ka ata ngayon?” tanong naman ni Kuya dwayne lumapit ako agad sakanila. i just want to come here and to ask something. “hey, may problema ba?” tanong ni ate nicca.

huminga ako ng malalim.

“Actually after what happened to me and june last night? June said he is serious about our change situation, hindi ako naniniwala. is there a chance? look, ayoko ng umasa't masaktan kaya ayokong maniwala na nagsasabi siya ng totoo. what if ginagamit niya lang ako? rebound or revenge for what happened to chloe?”

ate nicca laugh. “nasayo naman yan pero sana maniwala kang seryoso talaga siya, june never says that to the woman he whom had night with.” mahinang tumawa si kuya at tinignan ako.

seryoso ba talaga si june? paano naman kung hindi naman pala talaga siya seryoso? paano kung pati sila ay inuuto-uto niya lang? i don't know what to think!

“believe me, june is starting to know and like you. maniwala ka sana dahil si chloe? tinapon na niya lahat kay chloe.” huh?

“what?”

tumawa lang siya, pero anong ibig niyang sabihin 'ron? hindi ko alam, hindi ko siya maintindihan sa sinasabi niyang 'yon, hindi ko sila maintindihan.