Chapter Nineteen

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After Jeremy had left, I set an alarm on my phone and fell asleep, exhausted from the travel. He was going to go home and talk to his parents and then I'd pick him up at 6 o'clock and we'd go to the airport.

It seemed like I had just fallen asleep when I was awoken, not by my alarm, but by the sound of my front door closing.

I jumped up and hurried to see who was walking in, unannounced.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, trying to calm my racing heart.

"It didn't go so well at my house."

"So you left?" Jeremy just nodded. I sighed heavily. "Jer, you can't leave like this. I didn't intend for this to happen."

"I know you didn't. But Quinn, my mother should have NEVER said those things to you. You're my family and she'd do good to understand she can't just go around hurting you without me doing something about it. She can't tell me what to do and how to live my life, and frankly, it's not your choice either. I'm kind of pissed you kept this from me for so long."

"I just didn't know how to say it without sounding like I was tattling. I can handle myself," I said with my head in my hands.

"That's why you ran off to Hawaii?" He bit back. I winced at his words, thinking we had already passed this. "I'm sorry, I'm just frustrated right now and I really wish I had more time with you before I have to leave."

I hung my head, knowing I'm the sole reason he had lost time, not only with me, but with Ryker as well. "I'm sorry."

He pulled me into his arms and kissed my head. "Don't be. I get why you did it. But from here on out, you come to me with stuff that's bothering you instead of running. Deal?"

"Deal," I agreed, reaching up to kiss his lips.

We spent the rest of the time Ryker was asleep cuddling on the couch. When he woke up, I fed him a quick dinner and then it was time to head to the airport.

The whole drive there, silence consumed us. Even Ryker was quiet, something that never happened while we were in the car unless he was asleep.

While words didn't seem appropriate, Jeremy's hand never left mine. Occasionally, he'd look away from the road briefly and give me a shy smile before returning his attention to the road.

The airport lot was packed when we got there, and we had to park quite a way way. Jeremy juggled his bags and Ryker, refusing to give up his son or to let me carry his bags. Damn gentleman.

He was forced to hand Ryker over when he went to check in, though. Ryker was squirming too much and wanted nothing to do with standing in line.

So while Jeremy checked in, I followed behind our son who toddled around the airport. After about 20 minutes, my phone rang because Jeremy was looking for us. He found us near the frozen yogurt shop.

"Want to get some?"

"Do you have time?" I asked, looking at my phone to see what time it was.

"Yeah," he assured me, though I really didn't think he did.

We went in and got our frozen yogurt; I got strawberry with cheesecake crumbles and Jeremy got coffee with sprinkles. Gross.

He paid then we found a seat at one of the benches in the concourse.

Despite Jeremy assuring me had enough time, he ate his quickly and I tried to keep up, but sharing with a toddler made that difficult.

He waited for us to finish, though, then threw everything away. We once again picked Ryker up and because he only had his backpack now, it was an easier feat. He used his free hand to lace his fingers together with mine.

Ryker laid his head down on Jeremy's shoulder as we walked toward the TSA checkpoint.

As we approached, neither of us said anything. He just pulled me in by our connected hands and wrapped that arm around me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my head in his chest, holding him tight.

"I love you," Jeremy said, barely above a whisper.

"I love you," I told him. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"I'll miss you guys more," he countered. "Family day is in a couple of months. And I'll call every chance I get."

"We'll be there," I assured him.

He took his hand and raised my chin so that he could kiss me more easily. It was a deep kiss, full of emotion. It made me long for more; more that I knew I wouldn't get for a long time.

I felt the backs of my eyes prickle with tears. I tried to hold them back, but a few slid past. Instead of simply wiping them away, Jeremy kissed them away, which only caused more tears to escape. I refused to let myself fall apart, though. I didn't want to do that in front of him or Ryker, and definitely not in front of an airport full of strangers.

I wrapped myself around him again and squeezed him tight. Jeremy's lips found mine again. This one was a simple kiss, though the emotions were undeniably still there.

He reluctantly pulled back and squeezed Ryker before peppering him with kisses, which caused Ryker to giggle. It melted my heart, but it also left it constricting because this was the last time that'd happen for a while. There was a good chance Ryker wouldn't remember Jeremy when he saw him again, and that broke my heart.

I placed one more emotion-filled kiss on Jeremy's lips before taking Ryker from him.

"I love you," I told him, trying to keep my composure.

"I love you," he said back. "It's just for a little while."

I nodded, but was slowly losing it. He hugged me and kissed me before saying, "I'll call you when I land." I nodded, not trusting my voice. I pulled myself out of his grasp and he said, "See you soon."

"See ya," was all I could manage.

He blew us a kiss as he took his place in line and we walked away.

With every step we took closer to the car and further from Jeremy, my composure was slipping. Same with the drive home. I managed to get home with only a few tears slipping through.

Ryker had fallen asleep in the car so I carefully carried him inside and placed him in his crib before curling up on my bed and letting my tears escape.

*****

I woke up several hours later to my ringing phone. "Hello?" I answered sleepily.

"Hey, it's me. Did I wake you up?"

"Yeah, but it's okay. What time is it?"

"Almost midnight." I groaned.

"Where are you?"

"In the cab on my way to West Point."

"How was your flight?"

"Long. Boring. I wished I could get off the plane and be with you."

"Like you said, soon."

"Not soon enough," he said with more honesty than he was using earlier since there was more distance between us.

"No..." I agreed. "But we'll make it work, Jer. We have to."

"We will. How's Ryker doing?"

"He fell asleep on the way home and is still asleep. It's going to be an early morning with him."

"I'll let you go then, so you can go back to sleep."

I wanted to tell him that it was okay, that I wanted to talk to him until I couldn't anymore, but a sudden fog of sleep loomed over me. "Okay. Text me when you get there so I know you're safe."

"I will. I love you, Quinn."

"I love you, Jer. Bye."

"Bye," he said before we disconnected the call. 

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