Starstruck

Chapter Seventeen

He heard a soft sound of distress coming from somewhere in Ashley’s vicinity, but he didn’t dare look at her.

"So then I thought how nice you are," Kendyl went on, "and how I wanted you to be my mom but I didn’t know what to do. I told Sierra when we went to visit them and she thought I should be bad in school. It was really hard and I didn’t want to. But I wanted you to be my mommy really bad, so I did it, anyway. I’m sorry."

After she finished, there was a long, terrible silence and all Jason could focus on was how much he would have preferred it if Ashley hadn’t known who he was back then. He had a wild, sudden wish that she had only met him the day before.

He wanted her to only know the man he was today, not some image on a screen that had never been real. His chest ached suddenly and he had to fight the urge to rub his hand against it.

Finally, he managed to speak. "That was very wrong of you, Kendyl. I’m disappointed that you would be so deceitful. You’ve wasted three weeks of the school year for nothing and now you’re going to be behind all the others in your class."

"I’m sorry. Daddy."

"I don’t think I’m the one you need to apologize to."

Her chin quivered but she rose and stood in front of Ashley, who looked close to tears herself. "I’m sorry, Miss Barnes. I do like you and I can be good. I promise."

Ashley cleared her throat, still not looking at him. "Does this mean you’re going to do better from now on? No more of these…these crazy ideas?"

"I promise. You’ll see. I’ll be the best kid in the whole class! I’ll do all my work on time and I’ll raise my hand and everything."

"Good. I’m, uh, certainly glad to hear that." She rose abruptly. "I…now that we’ve cleared that up, I should go."

"You don’t have to," Jason said.

"Yes. I do."

He couldn’t argue with the vehemence in her voice, and in truth he knew he would be relieved when she was gone. She still didn’t look at him once as he and a now–dejected Ruby walked her to her impractical little car.

"Kendyl, I’ll see you Monday in school," she said, with what sounded like false brightness in her voice. "Thank you again for dinner."

She climbed into her car, started it and took off down the driveway. He hit the buzzer to open the gates just as she reached them, wondering if it could possibly be only a day since he had found her climbing over them.

As her taillights headed down Cold Creek Road, he held Kendyl’s hand and watched them disappear.

How insane. She only blew into his life the day before, but he knew as he watched her drive away that she had left footprints on his heart. He would miss her laughter and her softness and her sweet, infectious smile.

He had to let her go. He had no choice. Anything between them was impossible. Even before he found out she had once been a fan of his music he knew he could never do anything about this terrifying tenderness growing inside him.

That didn’t make the regret any less bitter.