Okay. This topic is not a racist one but just to those I've met. Not general or bias about white girls but just to those I've met. <repeat like twice LOL>.
White girls, I somehow like and dislike some of them. Hmmmm I'll give names.
Nicole is a supposedly nice chemistry lab partner. Maybe just I'm too much of a worker, I finish all the damn work before my partner could touch any of it. I was about to start disliking her more because she doesn't help me do the lab questions. My other lab partner was a boy, name Jacob. He obviously does nothing. I don't trust him because his chemistry is so bad that all the things he calculate every time is wrong! Just during experiments my lab partners help me record stuff down and do the experiment actually. Nicole is white. Well.... she mix of all kinds of different ethnicities. I think I heard her say "German, Irish...." whatever it was maybe "Switzerland". She is a nice girl but somehow I get the sense she sometimes could be a little little mean. Well only if she was angry at things people done her wrong. But overall... maybe she is nice to me? Maybe? What's the point of me writing this lol? She has a boyfriend. The whole thing with her was that once I told her if she smoked cigarettes, she said no. I told her there's many seniors and people our age that smoke cigs. She said those people were bad bad bad people and she is not one of them. LOL. Funny thing, her friends smoke. I think she got influenced. I saw an image online and saw her holding a cig and smoking it. Do all white girls lie so good? Sorry I'm not doing bias or generals. Everyone lies actually. Hahaha.
Hmmm the next white girl i met. We were supposedly to be "good friends" in like 6th grade? I was the new kid at the school and I always like to be in history class only if she talked to me. Oh her name was Devon. Funny thing is I search the name up for people I want to know more about, her name usually can be both boy or girl and it means defender. 6th grade was the only time I ever talked to her a lot. In 7th and 8th grade I got more depressed because of family responsibilities I have to take on. Eventually high school came. I was still depressed in high school, well... I kind of am now. I am sometimes happy and sometimes angry or maybe sometimes even.. being sad? During that summer from 8th to 9th grade, Devon and another girl Mia, wanted to invite me out to be with them. My family restaurant was next to a Dunkin Donut, so they just said to go there if I wanted to hang out with them. They persisted many times. I couldn't leave because I had work to do and I need to fulfill that responsibility. I wished I could hang out. "Omg, two pretty girls just asked me if I wanted to hang out." I thought to myself and like but I couldn't go. They asked me for my phone number (didn't have one yet at that time) I used my iPad's textfree phone number and gave it to them. I supposedly should have her phone number but I'm scared she still has that text free phone number from me. I would give her my real number if she asked again. The whole thing is... she talks to me? Pretty girl like her should not talk to me because I am unpopular and nerdy. That's why I thought why would she talk to me. Just recently, I feel like she randomly looks at me or is it just because I looked at her? I do not have a clue. I'm overthinking hahaha. Moving to the present(I already did). Well I had to run the pacer one day, but I kind of skipped class due to oversleeping that morning. This, Devon girl was in charge of writing the pacer, sit-ups, push-ups, sit-and-reach, etc. records down. After I was done with my other test, I asked her if i had any tests to make up. She wrote a probably bad score for me for my other test. First she tried explaining to me that I shouldn't blame her or anything lol. I just randomly said "do I have like any test to make up? Like pacer or something?"
She replied "yeah you have the pacer. We have sit-and-reach tomorrow."
I said "oh"
She said "you want me to write down a score for pacer?"
I said "you can do that?"
She said "yeah. 40 is 100% for girls"
I though for a second. I couldn't run 40 laps so I decreased it to "write 35."
And she did.
The the is I want to know why she would help me. If I get caught, she'll get caught too for helping me. What a risky move to make. I didn't say thank you to her because she could've wrote a bad score for my other test. So I just thought it was an equal agreement maybe? I told my my family this, they asked "why did the girl do it for you?" Well I just replied "idk"
I told my brother it and he said "cheater".
Hahaha I would want to be your friend... but we will go separate ways after high school. It's nice meeting you, Devon. :)
Just recently a girl wanted to employ at my family's restaurant. We reconstructed a place and moved there. (Not by Dunkin' Donuts anymore). So she is from the same high school I go to. Maybe because she saw me, she never answered any texts or calls from the manager at our restaurant. Lol we want to hire you but you won't damn pick up your phone. Maybe I'm perverted or something. I think about the future of teaching her how to use the cashier machines and stuff. Oh great! She'll have to see my whole family and she will know more info on me. Screw it im dead. Well that is only when she employs. Guess she doesn't want to work here anymore because I am here. (Btw I'm always alone at school and never talk. No one gets near me.) Her name I think was Lauren.
Mia. She was mentioned before. Came into the restaurant with Devon to invite me to hang out. She can speak very very fast and she was confident-loud. She used to say "hi" to me in middle school. I was her edit partner in English class the last two marking periods. Lol she wanted to change me out so bad, but I guessed she lived. I was always sleeping in that class. I don't know how, she was a nice girl in middle school. She might've got influenced by her mother and her friends, she started smoking cigs. I couldn't believe it. I always looked up to her confident-voice and everything. I could never speak so confidently because I'll probably embarrass myself while hurting other's feelings without realizing it.
My child hood friend. I wish I could remember them. But I'm starting to lose my memories of them. Abby, Holly, Katherine, McKenzie, Kaitlyn, etc. I had many white friends that were girls. They were nice. It's nice to make friends with them.
Btw I never smoke or drink or drug. If you smoke, I will never be your friend because you're killing yourself. You're killing yourself
and I'll have to go through a heart break when you die. So I rather not experience that.
(2018)
Devon is in my gym class again and I feel like she glances over sometimes. Like I had written about before, I feel like she and I accidentally make eye contact a lot of times. I just want to write down my memories before I forget them. In the national honor society meeting in the auditorium, I saw her look over. In gym class, sometimes I see it too. I don't get why but she sometimes likes to pat people or like hug them??? Some times after gym class , while I wait for people to pass, she'll stop behind me and shake me back and forth. I got bothered by it but it wasn't like serious. One day I asked her "why do you shake people back and forth".
She says "give detention (or attention?)"
I said "is it really necessary to do that"
She said it's to jog up lost memories from back of the brain, so it goes into the front of the brain.
Honestly I thought that was funny but I replied "that's a bad excuse"
And she replies "you're a bad excuse"
I wonder if she was joking or what...?
I feel stupid one time after we finished gym class. I finished changing my gym clothes out and was at my locker taking out my backpack. She came from her locker and stood their texting ._.?? I wondered if it was intentional or not, so I tried more to take my backpack out and ran upstairs as fast as possible. After I got up there, I hid behind a trash can (I regret it sincerely). "What am I doing???" I thought to myself. She came up and waited for bell to ring to leave. Some other girl name Kaitlyn exposed me and asked "why are you hiding back there?" And I was like "oh shit! Now she going to think I'm a weird person".
Couple of days, I feel she started distancing herself from me. I mean that's a good choice to make. I believe she will have better friends than me. I couldn't see her be my friend because we are two different.
Before all the things happened, she asked me if the restaurant needed any new employers. She said she'll work there and we could hang out like everyday. I didn't think it was true. She said "we should hang out sometimes" right after that statement. I feel very stupid, because I didn't reply.
