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05

Kassie

The first Friday of the month marks the Heatson's traditional family reunion dinner, and although I should be more than delighted to see the people I haven't seen in a while, I'm far from excited. Between a judgemental and opinionated mother, a big-mouthed sister, a grieving sister-in-law and a passive father, the night ahead is bound to end in some sort of disastrous event. My mother and I have never been too civilized around each other, so I almost consider faking an illness just to get out of the dinner. However, the thought of seeing my month and a half old nephew is bringing the smallest twitch of a smile to my face and so, it's little Sam that pulls me out of the comfort of my warm bed an hour before Julia and I are supposed to be at my parents' house.

Grudgingly, I shower for a lengthy twenty minutes and blow dry my hair before styling it in a simple sock bun- something effortless but also something my mother would approve of. I quickly place my contact lenses over my brown irises- feeling far too lazy to search for my glasses I have misplaced- and brush some eyeshadow over my lids before apply a thin layer of black eyeliner to my upper lash line only, despite my mother's conservative opinion on makeup in general.

"It makes women look like raccoons," she would say, "there's definitely no need for all the makeup that half of society wears, and I should hope that my own daughters would be educated enough to realize that it's not the powder nor the eyeshadow that makes a woman a woman."

My eye catches on my new bottle of nude lip sheer, and run the brush along my lips just enough so colour is evident, but not thick. I pull on my mint green, white and black chevron print dress and slide a black ring onto my finger, placing delicate black studs on my ear lobes. I finish with a spray of liquid hair gel and nearly run back to my room after seeing that its 5:47- a mere thirteen minutes before Julia and I are supposed to arrive.

"Julia!" I screech, my voice bouncing off the walls covered in paintings, small murals and splatters of various colors as I hear my sisters' heavy footsteps through the hallways just outside my door.

"What is so important that you feel the need to wake me in the middle of my nap?" She snarls between bared teeth, her anger dissipating when she notices my ensemble, "shit, shit, shit, we have that dinner tonight, don't we?!"

She doesn't wait for my reply, but rather, barrels down the hall again to her room, slamming the door with a bang that seems to rattle the entire apartment. I don't mind Julia's rudeness- we all dealt with the grief of Noah's death differently. My mother has become a hundred times more protective and strict of my sister and I, my dad has become more lenient of things, and I manage to let dark thoughts seep out of my mind and through the paintbrush onto the blank canvas. Julia, however, took the news the worst, and developed major nightmares that had her screaming every hour of the night.

Her nightmares consisted of visions of Noah being stabbed, one of us as family members being stabbed, or even when she was the victim. Seven months after the nightmares began, my mother was still convinced it was a phase she would get over as soon as she stopped grieving, but my father and I knew otherwise. It got to the point where she started to hyperventilate and have massive panic attacks before bed time, and it was then that we had convinced my mother to take her into the family doctor. It was announced half a month later that she has Hypnophobia, a disorder that causes her to have mental break downs and anxiety attacks whenever she tries to sleep because the fear of living through another nightmare has become too much for her to handle.

And I have to say, if I was in her position, I'd be pretty pissed if someone woke me up too, especially since she rarely sleeps- when she does, it's like a gift from the gods.

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 17, 2014 ⏰

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