No thank you, is what I should've said, I should be in bed
But, temptations of trouble on my tongue, troubles yet to come
One sip, bad for me
One hit, bad for me
One kiss, bad for me
But I give in so easily, and "No thank you"
Is how it should've gone, I should stay strong
But I'm weak! And what's wrong with that?!
Boy oh boy I love it when I fall for that!
I'm weak! And what's wrong with that?!
Boy oh boy I love it when I fall for that!
I was losing absolute control! One minute I was just watching both sisters chase each other around the mansion like idiotic people, then the next minute I was plopped down on their couch at 6:13pm singing my favorite song to her, that I probably put on repeat for the whole weak, but as much as it sounds unbelievable, for some unknown f*cking reason I am singing to her.
I know, crazy right? I just met her... trust me, I'm completely aware of that but there's this lingering and fluttering feeling inside of me (specifically my stomach) that for some reason makes me trust her... My heart stops when I see her sweet smile, her contagious laugh or even when she flashes me a broad grin. It's utterly confusing! I definitely need to talk to Mani about this... I don't know what this feeling is, but what I do know is that it's growing rapidly and it doesn't seem to stop. Jesus, the things you make me feel and do Estrabao. It's straight up crazy! Or straight up gay at that...
The more I know her, the more I get to notice those little things she does. When she gets nervous, she occasionally bites her bottom lip (which most likely leaves her bottom lip jutted out and swollen) and slowly but surely takes deep breaths. When she gets irritated or agitated? She delicately combs her hair with her right hand and clenches her jaw or her knuckles leaving them white. When she gets ecstatic or cheerful? she can't seem to hide her wide grin, which leaves her left dimple clearer and more visible. When she's confident and optimistic? She leaves her head held high and the details of her eyes are sharper and way more defined. Her cheekbones are highlighted which makes them more prominent and which also screams authority. You definitely do not want to mess with her.
See?! I'm completely confused on why I'm so observant and keen towards her. Most of the time I don't even give simple glances towards some of my friends and sometimes, I don't even know what the f*cking color of their shirt is! Let alone Normani's! Jesus Christ I'm losing my sanity slowly, but oh so surely. Karla's got me wrapped around her fingers and trust me I'm whipped as f*ck! And you know what the problem is? I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!
Jesus F*cking Chri-
"That was amazing Lauren! Your voice is undeniably admirable and crazily... a-amazing!" She stutters, I blush due to the fact that she was the first ever person to compliment me in such a sincere and genuine way. Aside from Mani of course. Like she actually gives a f*ck! Most people don't, unfortunately... I try to hide my blush by dropping my head down bashfully, but failing miserably since the lighting of the living room was quite high, but not enough to leave the both of us blind. I could already feel that familiar warmth that courses through my body... specifically my cheeks... Goddamnit! Bat-shit crazy! (BATMAN THO!)
It takes longer for me to regain my composure. Mainly because I was stuck in my train of thought and I was having a difficulty of controlling how I feel, let alone my emotions. I was so engrossed with her facial features or simply her mannerisms, but it somehow engages me. Not just her physical aspects, but also her amazing way of thinking and her carefree spirit.
No doubt I've gotten a fair share amount of crushes that popped up last year, simply because of their looks and who they were in the outside, but something told me that this year would be different. Mani and Ally always questioned me of why I didn't think of settling down with someone, but I just wave them off with a subtle reply, knowing that I didn't want them to push the subject any further, but there was always this one part that I chose not to tell. I was saving my first relationship with someone special. Fine, I admit I've had one-night-stands or no-strings-attached sh*t like that, but I always seem to be the one to walk away, not bothering to leave them a simple note or even my number, LIKE HELL I WOULD!
"Um, Lauren? You ok there? You kinda backed out on me there." She said, with the slightest hint of concern that laced her voice. It never failed to appear amusing or entertaining. Hell, I would be entertained myself if I was in Karla's shoes.
"Y-yeah, I'm alright. J-just a bit shook with the whole thing... I've never really done it to other people." I said, my voice slowly hushing, making it quite impossible for Karla to hear, but audible enough to be understood.
"What do you mean?" She carefully asked not wanting to unintentionally strike a chord.
"Singing isn't really something I simply do without caution. It's a gift I'm not willing to show anybody just yet." I said. Emphasizing the word 'just', I'm debating whether or not to show people my talent. The fear of getting judged getting the best of me.
"Well, it's an amazing talent you have Lauren. I don't want to push you or anything, but it's a good way to lighten the weight off your shoulders. But, of course it's your choice. I'm just giving you a word of advise." She said wistfully. Knowing that Karla is right... intimidates me. She says all the right words at all the right times. It's also something I admire from her. I know I'm not such a big fan of argumentation, but it surely lets me think otherwise.
"Well, thank you for the advise... I-it's just hard to do so. You know? The cliché "It's easier said than done." Just fits in all the right places." I say, feeling a little bit confident now than how I felt earlier.
"Yeah, there are just some things you can't seem to chan-"
"WALZ?! I SWEAR TO GOD I FEEL LIKE SHIT AND IMMA 'BOUT TO KICK SOME POLY ASS B*TCHES RIGHT NOW!" An obnoxious, loud and vehement voice comes echoing through the front door. Not knowing who it is, I exchange a quick glance from Karla who seems unaffected by this whole thing. What the f*ck is happening?!
" 'Bout f*cking time Dinah. You took way too long." She says with a smirk playing on her lips.
"Oh sh*t!"
A/N:
I KNOW IT'S REALLY LATE RIGHT NOW. IT'S PROBABLY 2am IN THE MORNING BUT I COULDN'T CARE LESS! I'M FINALLY DONE WITH A F*CKING CHAPTER! But anyways me going to sleep, so bah!
