Safer to be a boy! (naruto fanfic)

Old Man???

I apologise that this took me so long to update!!!

We'd been walking for about 5 minutes now, and I still haven't been let down (he's got very boney shoulders). The looks that we are getting are starting to make me very nervous. People move out of his way without even a blink of an eye, and I'm getting such disgusting looks like I'm a piece of filth on the bottom of their sandals. I mean, I thought Konoha was meant to be a friendly, welcoming, peaceful village. Plus, he keeps hitting me on the head with the book that I am trying to read over his shoulder to see whatever that damn orange book is about because he entirely ignored me and everyone around to read it.

"Come on! Please! Pretty please put me down!" I punched at his back. "I can walk on my own. You know," seriously, why is this old perv carrying me. "Or at least let me read over your shoulder!" I punched again at his back.

"Well, I wouldn't want you to run off, do I?" why is he so cheery? "Also, this book is for my eyes only. You maybe be able to read it when you are older."

"Why?" What could he possibly be reading? That's something I can't read until I'm older? And then it clicked, "It's smut, isn't it?" The only thing I know is older adults are cautious about us kids reading. Wait for a second..."Wait! Are you reading smut whilst you are carrying me! Openly in the middle of your village?" No way... "Eww! Put that book away!" I'm embarrassed to admit I shrieked there... "You are a pervert! The book needs to be set on fire! To be burned till it's only ashes left!" My face is turning green; I now fully understand why he was randomly giggling now...

Shit. Why has everything suddenly gone so cold? Why can't I move? It's like someone has just slowly walked over my grave with their glimmering black scythe. Even if I tried to take a breath in, I wouldn't live to see the next moment. What is going on? Why Am I shaking?

"You will not touch this book with that means of harming it. Am I clear?" Why is that closed eye smile so scary?

Swallowing, I stutter out my reply, "Yes, sir. Crystal clear." I'm Crystal clear that you are a terrifying man and now understand why people just move out of the way for you...

"Good girl", he has said as he pats my head, as though I'm a good dog. Before I could even think about him calling me a girl, I notice that we are now standing in front of a large red building.

Lifting me off his shoulder, he gently places me on the ground. Huh? I thought he was worried I'd runoff. Looking up at him, I tilt my head slightly in confusion.

"I'm not carrying you all the way up those stairs. Plus, you barely have an ounce of muscle on you, and you're already tired, so going up these stairs means you'll be even more tired and less likely to think about what you are going to say"  I'm sure he's not meant to tell me stuff like this... "and this is punishment" what? "You are going to make me walk through a door. And that's one of my top rules avoid the use of doors," he fished off with one of his closed eye smiles. I'm starting to think that's his dare/challenge face.
Pushing me slightly forward, I come face to face with my doom.

***

Oh god, I'm going to die. My legs are jelly, and I can't catch my breath. Holding myself up against the wall, I glare at the back of the grey-haired ninjas head. He's the devil himself! Oh, how I wish I could shot lasers out of my eyes.

"You alright, kid?" I turn to come face to face with another Konoha ninja. He had two scars on the right side of his face, a goatee and his hair looked like the top of a pineapple. He looked like he didn't want to be here either.

"I'm fine, sir, just trying to catch my breath", and wishing I didn't get put back down on my feet.

"First time up these stairs?" He looked amused now "my son use to stop about one third up and take a nap."