Hanasakeru Seishounen One Shots

P a i n || Eugene Alenxandr de Volkan

He was the type of man every woman wanted. A painful beauty that longed for another and it soon became evident whom his mended heart ached for, the charismatic mistress with grey eyes. Her efforts became useless, those once shattered emerald hues of his gaining life and blooming with curiosity. Kajika Burnsworth had stolen the isolated heart of his and provided him with what he truly yearned for, pure love.

When she first heard the news, it came off as shocking. It hurt. All the hints, all the blissful grins she gave him were now pointless, what was the (h/c) haired woman supposed to do now? The memory of the cafe visit interrupts her train of thought and she could recall his green hues, emotionless and soon to break. He'd already numbed  the pain, holding on desperately to his one sided feelings towards the petite young woman, deceiving himself once more. Indeed she pitied him, although she knew his feelings quite well, every single day dragging on with the same one sided love for him.

'Eugene, you love her, don't you?'

Somewhere within her, (y/n) wanted him to disagree and pretend that it was a simple joke, perhaps even ignore the question completely. She could still remember the silence and how he pursed his lips, blond locks falling to his side as he takes off his hair tie.

'Yes. These feelings....  They're very real, (y/n). Whatever it may be, wherever it may be, I will follow. A spawn of love is what I've become, or so it seems."

Her smile was warm, his handsome facial features turning soft, shameful, sorrowful. It was at that moment did she realize she lost him, Eugene's beautiful arched eyes clouding with distance. Her eyes examined his beauty, olive tanned skin a glow, lips parted so he could intake the fresh air, jawline shaped sharply, God he was beautiful. He finally caught her, sharp gaze suddenly softening, a small chuckle escaping his lips as he watches her intently.

'You...' His voice was low, hand placed atop hers and a sigh of exasperation fell, eyes trailing to the sky again 'friends huh,'

Sometimes she wondered if she confessed then, would it have changed anything? Her feelings were never mutual when it came to Eugene, the charming man most likely sensing it yet never speaking a word of her crush on him. Otherwise, she'd have hope to lean on. His logic was to ignore simple emotions, though he was a prisoner to his own feelings too. That day, he wore a beige trench coat and black sunglasses to hide his cruel emerald eyes. One look and a person could fall victim to his perfect imperfections, the false smile which showed no rejoice still enchanting another and the way he lifts his shades, revealing his cat-like eyes.

'These feelings that are everlasting and leave nothing but pain behind-,' Eugene makes eye contact again, expressionless, '-Even when there is nothing left to love, it will still linger, devouring me,'

She could hear the destructive agreement to himself, his melodic voice lowering until he could no longer be heard, mute. Silence had taken over and for a moment, the warmth of his hand felt colder, further away, like a wall was building again. If that was a nightmare, she'd wish she could wake up from it.

'Eugene... Eugene!'

She could recall her pleads and there was no way she would be able to keep it together. It hurt, what a cruel man he was indeed. All she'd ever be to him was his butler's granddaughter who visits every summer. The two of them lived in two completely different worlds, how could they ever be together anyway? God, it really hurt. It was impossible from the start, she wasn't super human or rich. Just a city woman trying to make a living.

'What is it, (y/n).'

No matter what, she told herself she'd never admit it. The feelings that kept her grounded for so long, hopelessness now consuming her. She forced a smile, Eugene taking notice of her strange behaviour. He blinks, a bit confused.

'It's nothing.'

To conceal the timidness in her voice, she spoke softly. If she lived to be one hundred, there would be many regrets that would taunt her and remind her all those opportunities that were meant for her to confess but didn't. She watched his figure push out of his chair, hands extending and slamming on the patio table.

'Think twice before speaking.' He mutters, a sigh escaping his lips, 'my intentions are pure, if you're wondering about my relationship with Kajika.'

That's not at all what she wanted to hear. His relationship with a woman, pure? She bit the inside of her lip, mourning alone once again. She wanted to leave and forget all about him, though Eugene was someone that left the kind of impression that formed into respect overtime. Even that would be useless.

"(Y/n), we'll be departing to Singapore soon."

"Yes sir,"

It was indeed useless and for a long time, she'd burden those feelings in hopes she could share the same romantic feelings. Her thoughts were always full of endless memories of him, quite like a glass of water, always full and never dismissing the thought of being empty. Singapore is where she'd meet his beloved and be welcomed with a warm smile. She despised how much she envied the younger woman, with just a smile, she had him wrapped around her fingers. 'Kajika, take care of him. Love him, keep him safe,' the final thought lingered, gloom never leaving her.

"He'll never love me," she whispers, a melancholic smile forming. 'He will never...'

Then, once the memory had disappeared she could no longer keep the sadness inside. This was it. She had to let go, it was ruining her. The tears were now rolling down her cheeks, the beep of her cell phone causing her to sniffle and sit up. It was Eugene. 'Be safe.' Such simple words left her throat on fire, as if something was stuck in her throat and she weeps, dropping her phone on the ground. She loves him, how could she simply stop?

"Eugene, I-," she says, voice hardly making a sound, "I've loved you. And.... I've... Lost you."

That was as close as she was to admitting her honest feelings to him. She wipes her puffy eyes with a handkerchief, attempting to make herself feel better. It was deemed pointless after she was reminded of his smile that forms when he looks at Kajika, such joy, sorrow behind the curl of his lips. If it was him, the pain perhaps was bearable. If it was his, she could undergo any trial and error. Love was nothing but pain when the person whom stolen anyone's heart held no such feelings back. It hurt, yet she told herself she could bear it because it was him. Eugene was all she ever knew for such a long time after all. He was hers, or perhaps, he was.

'You be safe too, Eugene. For me?'

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A/N: I'm the literal cliche queen. Oh gosh, I didn't think I'd love Eugene this much! Also, thanks for reading~! (I'm most likely talking to myself.)