Life has its moments

Chapter 1

For as long as I've known, my life has always felt different to everyone else's. The feeling of not fitting in, feeling like I always stand out in the crowd but I've never uncovered why I get that feeling.

I know I'm a normal human being with emotions and all, but some deep, dark part of myself always disagrees.

Since my childhood, my main dream in life is to find a way to fit in with the rest of the world. I was doing so well with it too, until I found out the thing that made me tick was something entirely what I didn't think it was.

Even my parents weren't aware of my condition.

Why I always felt different in different rooms and couldn't fit in.

How I would always waste time with other things I felt connected with.

-

I am now 22 years of age and just moved into a house I bought but living alone as I am still used to, among moving boxes lies many diaries that I once wrote in scattered in a heap on the floor of the box I held as it broke. Each memory of my past has been written down on each and every page of the clunky, old books.

Even this, what you're reading right now, is but a memory of myself that I have forgotten.

I can't but help to open one of the books that lead to my childhood, where it all began.

As I stare at the ceiling of my bed in my 17 year old self, I can't help but to reminisce about my 6 year old self and the new events that took place at that age.

The vision of my ceiling has now faded into the view of what looks to be a playground in the limits of a school yard, with myself looking through a window out at the surroundings of the playground from a seat located towards the back of the classroom.

Through the corner of my eye I couldn't help but see a figure approaching to where I was sitting, the hood over my head made it hard to see who it was but the voice that came from the person was enough to put me into a state of anger and shock,

"Hello again Ben, as much as I want to say it's a pleasure seeing you again it's really not."

My fists seem to clench without my instruction at his snarky words, and my head rotates around just enough to see where the words originated from.

His face is covered in a stupidly confident grin, menacing eyes trained on my every move, and childish nose crooked in every which way from the last time my fist connected with it.

"I'd say it would be more of a honour for you to still be here" I replied to the cocky boy that's a bit smaller than me but he's a year older than myself, it was a year ago when we first met and that wasn't the start to one best of friendships either but it was the start to something else.

My response took the smile off his face and replaced it with a frown, and my own face now displayed the smile he just lost.

"Do you really want to do this again? It may have only been a year, some things have changed in my favour!"

He replied, trying to sound intimidating but I don't think he knows how weak and broken his words sound.

Just as my words were about to leave my mouth, one of the teachers came into the room. The whole school knows about us so they knew that he'd try and get back at me.

"Jeremiah, this is not the not the time nor place for you to do this, and you know that very well!"

We're both very well known troublemakers at school, and I know it's surprising for him and myself to be this violent at the age we're at but having a early life all about fending for yourself forces ones self to grow up quickly.

"And you Ben, you know better than to provoke him. Come with me now! Both of you!"

As the two people walk through the door ahead of me, my vision becomes blurry and gradually becomes my ceiling again.

I roll over on my side and sigh the memories off.

I close my eyes and drift off with one phrase replaying in my head, once I said myself, that I now only hold onto for their sake.

'I was normal, now I'd give anything to get it back.'

Authors note:

Hey, I know it's been a while since I last published anything, year 12 is hectic.
And so is going to the hospital twice in 5 months.
So here's something I've been recently working on.

I hope you enjoy it