Is this love...something real?

Talking (skips alot)

Talking-engaging in speech, verb.

Talking, yeah it's confusing, but it's a stage where you so love drunk you don't know what the hell to do. That's me. Me and him went on to taking as friends for a long time, until he asked me out...but I couldn't say yes. Family problems ya know? It was complicated, but I wanted to say yes and be happy. We played video games together, we loved, we talked non-stop and even hung out from time to time and cuddled. I gave him my first kiss...and it felt great, but I regretted it later on. I got so jealous and ignorant that I believed everyone around me that he was leaving me. Going to drop me off after all this time. I refused to see that...but after a while it got to me. I brought it up and he denied it...but I keep pushing on. He later stoped texting me "good morning beautiful have a nice day today" and I fell. I fell deep, back into my depression. For days my mind was lost scrambled. Waiting for him to say something, anything. Then it happened...he wanted to talk...

Talking- engaging in speech, verb

More like...

Talking- engaging in a step of relationships that fuck you over...verb?

Yeah...he wanted a break...I cried every night for the next 3 months...the end of school. Then end of me..I tried so hard to talk to him, get it back somehow..but all I went to was self harm...I cut 29 times, wrote him letters, and tried to give them to him...and I did but it seemed like he was done, didn't want anything from me anymore. Not even love.