Cruel

Jade's Diary page 1

     May 18 ,2013

     You would think after a year and a half he'd let it go. Yes I tried to kill myself but he put me in a special home for six months, put me on medication, and home schooled me. I can't go out in public alone, he thinks he's making things better but truth is, he's not. I feel suffocated and I have no freedom. I can't even close my bedroom door and he hired someone to watch me when he's at work. I'm on suicide watch and I have been for a year and a half. I love my dad and he's great but ever since my mother died he hasn't been the same and that's to be expected but he barely even speaks to me anymore. Mom died two years ago and the six months after her death were extremely hard for me. I was bullied, kids in school made fun of my mom even though they knew she had died, my father quit his job and barely ever got up out of bed. I fell into a deep depression and no one seemed to care. My entire world fell apart within six months. On top of all that I lost my scholarship to NYU. I was gonna major in journalism, I've always enjoyed writing and I like to think I have a very creative outlet. But it doesn't matter anymore because I'm never going to be able to get out of this house and I lost my scholarship anyway. I wish I could go back in time and do the past two years all over again. I knew things were gonna be rough after my mom died; but did I really deserve to be bullied? I didn't talk to many people in school, I usually kept to myself. I had my two best friends Elizabeth and Courtney and I had my boyfriend Nick. I was homecoming queen freshman and sophomore year, I has straight A's and a 4.0 GPA and perfect attendance. I wasn't wildly popular and I never got into trouble. The end of sophomore year is when my mom died. I didn't really leave the house that summer and when school started again I tried to move on. But my grades started slipping, my friends stopped talking to me, my boyfriend broke up with me, and I was still severely depressed after my mom died. I stopped talking to everyone, I stopped caring about what I looked liked and I started smoking weed. That's when the bullying started; I became known as the schools biggest freak. People would leave notes taped to my locker and they'd call me a freak and they'd tell me I was a piece of shit. I thought within time it'd die down. But after two months it got bad. I had a presentation for English class on the odyssey and the minute I stood up everyone yelled "FREAK" and that's how it all started.