Im twenty-one years of age and ive been in a relationship with my partner for four years. We met online despite what people say.. it can work. We have been very happy together. i moved into their flat a couple months ago when i graduated college. We spent all the time we could together. Even if we had nothing to do, just sit watch telly. look at eachother and kiss. smile into eachothers eyes. Constantly wondering what the future could hold for us. I always wanted to go New York but they always wanted to go to barcalona. I just wanted to spend a few days there and just be in the mists of all the excitment of being in the big apple. We never made it to New York or Barcalona. Mainly due to money being an issue.
I recently felt unwell and began to feel exhausted and faint all the time. So i took it upon myself to go and see the doctor. They told me i would only have a few weeks left to live due to a rare disease i had never even heard of.
When i found out, i called my friend to come pick me up and we went to their house. I sat them down at the table and told them about the disease and how long i had left. We both sat and cried for a while until it was time for me to leave. I left telling them that i will always be with them and love them no matter what happend or where i am.
I made it back to our place and my partner was still at work. I sat down at the dining room table and pulled out some paper and a pen and started writing. Writing what i wanted to tell my partner for when something like this was ever to happen.
To my dearest love
I know that introduction is probably really clique but i mean it. I have developed a disease that slowly shuts down the brain and therefor the rest of my body.
I want you to know how much i love you, i do not know how long ill have left after writing this as i found it easier not to count the days down. I feel that you wont be able to cope with the pain of me being gone and i want you to know that i wont always be gone. ill always be with you. making sure you make the right desitions. even if you dont notice. i love you more than you can imagine and it pains me to write this. When i am gone i want you to know its okay to move on. take down all of our memories box them up and move on. you shouldnt be reminded of the pain you have been put through. Please do this for me and i can rest peacefully. ill always be with you and ill keep you safe.Please let all my friends know of my passing and always be there for them. Let them know ill be there.
I love you baby. i wont let go.
Good bye
i placed this letter on the kitchen side for my partner to find.
When my partner returned home from work i could already feel i was losing the battle. i ask for them to come to me and be with me. When they held me in their arms i explained that everything was going to be okay and there was a letter on the kitchen side. i just had to let my partner know how much i loved them before i had to let go. Before the pain became to much. I gripped my partner tightly and i felt tears running down my cheeks. cold wet drops landing on my head as me and my partner cried together. my grip was losseing and my partners tightning and i slowly let go and drifted to sleep. i lost the battle that day and my partner lost me. They stayed with me crying for hours until they finally let me go. placing my lifeless body down onto the bed to rest until i was taken away. Getting off the bed and walking away was the hardest part, tears still rushing down their face as i stood and watched from the side of the bed looking down at my body. Watching my partner walk away and wheep into their hands. Wishing they could have done more. There was nothing they could have done.
When they read the letter they did excatly as i asked. i could rest easy knowing it was all taken care of. I will always be waiting for my partner to join me stand by my side and be there with me.
