The Hand He Had Been Dealt | Destiel

Come Back to Me

Dean barely managed to wake up despite the sobs that were echoing through the house. Panic seized him as he struggled to get out of bed to Sam, but exhaustion weighed him down, causing him to fall out of bed rather than stand. A swear left his lips as he finally managed to get to his feet, nearly crashing into the doorway as he rushed across the hall, Sam's door falling open in front of him.

When his eyes finally adjusted, he could see Sam crying, his blanket bundled to his chest as he curled on the bed. The toddler barely glanced up before he was crying harder, scooting closer to the nightlight shining from the wall and hiding his face in the blanket.

Dean managed to keep his footing as he crossed over to Sam's bed, sitting on the edge and petting Sam's hair, "Hey, buddy. What's wrong?" Dean asked softly, Sam flinching at his touch before looking up at him, his eyes glittering with tears from the nightlight.

"I want you to come back!" Sam managed to get out in a high-pitched cry before his sobbing grew harder, letting go of the blanket in favor of grabbing Dean's shirt with his tiny hands, holding on tightly and rubbing his face into Dean's chest.

Dean rested his hand on the back of Sam's neck while pulling him closer into a hug, "I haven't gone anywhere, Sammy. I'm right here," Dean assured, a frown tugging at the corners of his lips.

"No! You're gone all day! I want you to play with me!" Sam shouted, barely muffled by Dean's chest as Sam began to shake, little gasps leaving his tiny chest as he struggled to breathe.

"Hey! Hey, it's okay, Sammy. Just breathe," Dean urged, his tone filling with worry as he pulled Sam off of his chest, cupping his cheek in one hand and making sure Sam was looking at him, "In and out, buddy. It's okay," Dean continued, whispering soft words of encouragement as shuddering gasps left the small boy's mouth.

It took several minutes before Sam was able to breathe normally again, his fingers clutching to Dean's sleeve as his eyes watered anew and his lip began to quiver again, "De..." He cried, his arms going around Dean's neck as Dean pulled him into a tight hug, keeping a hand on the back of Sam's head as a comfort as he pressed his lips into Sam's temple for several seconds.

"Everything will be fine, Sam. I promise," Dean comforted, waiting until Sam's sobs turned into tiny sniffles before standing, supporting Sam with one arm underneath him, "Come on. You can come sleep in my room tonight, okay Sammy?"

A shaky nod and a barely audible 'okay' was all Sam gave in response, Dean's heart breaking a little more with each hiccup or sniffle that came from the toddler. He squeezed him subconsciously, wishing there was more he could do for Sam. 

Sam was asleep by the time Dean got him under the covers, his brows creased with sorrow. Dean climbed onto the other side, soothing the wrinkle by Sam's brow with his thumb until he didn't look as upset as before. When Dean laid down, Sam instantly rolled towards his body heat, curling up against him before falling back into a fitful sleep.

Dean didn't sleep that night with his fearful watch of Sam, but it was okay. Sam would always be more important than himself.

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Sam laid heavy in his arms just a few hours later, still in his pajamas despite the day clothes Dean had in his hands. He figured it would be easier since Sam slept for another three or four hours at Castiel's anyways.

As he approached the front door, it opened without a sound, Castiel standing there with worry in his expression, though Dean didn't miss the anger there as well. They hadn't really talked after that first day, instead taking to just awkwardly moving out of each other's way for the last three weeks. Luckily, Sam hadn't commented on it, though Dean had a suspicion that he had while Dean hadn't been around.

"He had a rough night," Dean stated, his brows creasing a little in distress when Castiel didn't say anything. Dean wanted nothing more than to just say that Castiel was right, that this was too much to handle, but he didn't have a choice. There was just no way and didn't that make Dean right too?

Castiel stepped to the side, letting Dean pass while his eyes tracked him every step of the way to the guest bedroom.

Dean cursed his own ego sometimes.

He set Sam down into the bed, gently working Sam's hands off of his shirt and laying them onto the bed where they clutched to the blanket instantly. The toddler let out a whimper, and while Dean just itched to say 'fuck it' and take the day off to spend time with Sam, he turned, walking back out of the room with a heavy heart.

He barely saw Castiel in front of him before he was grabbed and pulled into a crushing hug. Dean didn't fight, but he gave Castiel an awkward pat on the shoulder, struggling to keep the facade that he managed to uphold.

"Come on, Cas. Don't turn into a chick on me now," Dean said, the false bravado in his voice sounding like nails on chalkboard to his ears. 

Castiel just hugged him tighter, if that was even possible, "Dumbass," Castiel muttered, his voice reaching into Dean's very core, easing a pain that he had been hiding since they stopped talking.

"You're one to talk," Dean forced out, his voice cracking as he began to cry, his arms wrapped tightly around Castiel, his shoulders shaking as he tried to fight any noise that threatened to come out.

Dean had no idea how long they stood there before Castiel finally pulled back, looking at Dean with a slightly tipped head and, thankfully, with nothing but concern in his eyes, "Dean, I could help you. You don't have to work so hard by yourself," Castiel offered, his jaw clenching when Dean shook his head, stepping back and rubbing feverishly at his eyes to get rid of the tears.

"You've helped too much already, Cas," Dean whispered, and if he wasn't so upset, he would be flinching at how broken he sounded. Castiel's stance softened before he let out a sigh, crossing his arms over his chest in a displeased stance.

"You'll be late for work if you don't go soon," Castiel commented, grabbing Dean's shoulder and giving it a soothing squeeze before he passed him to go back to bed, Dean watching him until his door clicked shut.